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Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

#2349
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (8741)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by Sleep Walking - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40389) - you deserved it (25333)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided I had gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping my cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FML

#2963101
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (8175)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:03am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (43841)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

#2062305
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54574) - you deserved it (16869)

On 05/18/2009 at 9:11pm - misc - by Fubar0906 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

#828756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56368) - you deserved it (10455)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by Lastsecondstand - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57460) - you deserved it (9996)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

#6018223
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (8331)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:45am - kids - by Chub (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

#5419998
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34429) - you deserved it (7841)

On 09/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by cchandler (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother thought he would take my key and steal my shoes from my football locker while I was at practice. What he didn't think about was him leaving my locker unlocked for the 3 hours of practice. Someone stole my iPod, my cell phone, my wallet, and all of my clothes. FML

#5201463
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45240) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/12/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38700) - you deserved it (5202)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML

#14994947
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm - misc - by K (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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