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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (3990)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

#19827444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi-driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

#20000200
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (2156)

On 08/03/2012 at 10:52am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

#20028546
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5271) - you deserved it (18439)

On 08/18/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (1689)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19072) - you deserved it (1829)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19043) - you deserved it (3775)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

#20099884
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (1322)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:19pm - work - by bb - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (1842)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14961) - you deserved it (27358)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17369) - you deserved it (33097)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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