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Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52782) - you deserved it (7767)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63565) - you deserved it (5850)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55447) - you deserved it (5720)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (10888)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44392) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49896) - you deserved it (3901)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (3671)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47957) - you deserved it (23855)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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