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The all-time greatest FMLs

Attention to detail

By MelodyPW - 19/12/2022 03:00 - Algeria

Today, I wrote an email for a job offer. I checked it, double-checked it, triple-checked it, and then sent it. It's only THEN that I realised my CV wasn't attached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 368

Kids these days…

By RAZR MeowMix - 30/01/2021 21:30

Today, my youngest started playing Fortnite. My oldest has been playing competitively for a couple of years. My youngest is now addicted and needs a new computer to run it at max settings. I hate Fortnite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 477

You get what you paid for

By María González - 19/05/2023 03:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, while I was at work as a receptionist in a hotel in Spain, an entitled woman was pissed because her reservation didn't have breakfast included. I'd offered her three times the option to add it. She declined because she had to pay for it. She was pissed that she had to pay to include the breakfast in her reservation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 92

Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 11:01

Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 231

Stop stealing Kias!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 257

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 166

Alexa, play "Grounds for Divorce" by Elbow

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 04:00

Today, I discovered a bunch of porn on my husband's laptop, cartoon stuff with rabbit girls and monsters with octopus tentacles, I felt physically sick and I don’t think I can stomach being married to him anymore. It was disgusting FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 2 762

Alexa, play "I'm Doing Fine" by Day One

By MystiChild - 04/02/2022 02:00

Today, I returned home early from a week away for work. I was worried about my husband's mental health after a week alone with our two ADD kids. He wasn’t expecting me, but I was surprised to see the house cleaner than it had ever been, and our children happily reading on the couch. How did he do that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 16:05 - Germany - Kerpen

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 1 739

Mixed feelings

By What - 15/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I somehow have both crippling depression and a fear of death. Please end me, but don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 120

Eat to the beat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 06:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, working at McDonald’s, I get lunch money on top of my salary. Well, actually I don’t *get* the money, I can eat the money. No freestyling though, only items that are actually on the menu. I guess my health and my figure won’t be lovin' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 267

It's a wrap

By victoria - 04/04/2021 21:30

Today, I had a school band concert in which I was doing a clarinet solo. I had a Laffy Taffy before the concert. Little did I know part of the wrapper got stuck in my hair. I went through the whole concert like that and I was so embarrassed when I found out afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 264

You deal with it

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 06:00

Today, I found out that my partner intentionally acts like she sleeps through our baby's cries in the middle of the night, just to force me to do all the late night feeds and diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 378

No friends left

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 141

Escape plan

By Lost Reggie - 27/12/2023 17:00 - United States - Conway

Today, my wife of 22 years moved 2000 miles away to start a new job. She applied in October and never told me. I've never cheated on or abused her, she just said she wanted a new life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 125

They targeted gamers

By nothing - 29/11/2022 06:00

Today, I was finally allowed some time to get my game on. When I attempted to log in, I was given an error message. The game servers were down. Estimated time back up was, "sometime later this week". I was unable to get my game on, and had to do chores instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 318

Channeling Gordon Ramsay

By ThisIsGonnaBeALongFewDays - 13/02/2023 22:00

Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 283

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 18:00

Today, I was at a restaurant with a friend when she said, "Oh, I have to arrange a meet up between you and a friend. She's just your type: she has daddy issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 165

FML Approved, Video #1

By Louis - 14/03/2017 10:30

"And she's riiiiiding a ski lift… to heeeeeaven."

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 147

Enough already!

By SadWoman - 30/09/2022 13:30 - United States - Kula

Today, my counsellor said that my venting needs to stop with this session, and that I needed to have goals towards which she can help me go. But I'm so lonely and just wanted to talk to someone. So now, a person won't take money from me to listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 597

Oversharing while drunk? Nah

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 08:01

Today, after my roommate and I, as well as our significant others, had some drinks, then we started listing off/counting our past sexual partners. It got to a point where his girlfriend and I both had multipliers of 10 times that of our partners. They kicked us both out, and she didn’t offer me a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 1 309

By nobar - 04/06/2019 06:00

Today, I learned how to make my fridge colder. I felt that what it was set on felt a little warmer than normal, so I turned it down. Now everything in my fridge is frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 1 716

Surveillance

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 18:00

Today, I showed my boss the app where I can remotely monitor my new home security cameras. As we panned the camera around, we were greeted by my son smoking a bong - sound and all. Way to go, boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 273

By cacheson - 10/12/2016 18:25 - United States

Today, I met my new drill sergeant. Let's just say I wasn't expecting him to literally bark orders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 73

cacheson tells us more.

cacheson 41

Monday 12 December 2016 1:51

My first ever thing published on FML! I was actually really surprised when I submitted this that no one else had made the joke yet!

I'm a burden

By Anonymous - 24/01/2023 08:30 - United States - Highland

Today, my boyfriend of almost five years told me, due to health issues, he can't move in with me or propose to me. He knows I support him, but if it was a serious health issue, wouldn't he want to be married, knowing I'm there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 173

Bad DIY FML

By Liah - 28/03/2022 10:00

Today, I was rearranging the cabinets above the washer and dryer, and the whole thing fell down on top of the washer. I had just put my clothes in the washing machine too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 90

Tin bathtub

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 00:02

Today, I finally bought an above ground pool, as wifey has insisted on one for a loooong time. It didn't cost too much, but wifey is all sulky cause it appears that a 1.8 x 3.8 x 0.9 meter pool is TOO BIG. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 137

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00

Today, I talked to my boyfriend yet again about being more verbal and apparent about showing affection towards me. It ended with me asking him how would I even know if he wants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 183

Healthcare in the US is ****** up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 04:01

Today, I was out with friends when one of them started complaining about having to spend $50 on two copays for his therapist. He makes more a week than I do in three, and I can't even get seen by any type of healthcare professional because nowhere is accepting new patients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 80

Things that go WTF? in the night

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 10:01

Today, as I was sleeping, I found a snail in my bed, yet I was dreaming so I thought it was a dream, but it felt real. I jumped out of the bed and I couldn't believe it. I wonder how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 84

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 704

You deserved it 16 738

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 240

You deserved it 2 385

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 764

You deserved it 4 133

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 104

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 508

You deserved it 4 426

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 71

Today, my depression has seemingly hit a new low when I barely reacted at all to my sister excitedly telling me that I'm going to be an uncle. I'm not going to be a fun one at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 144