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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (52175)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46468) - you deserved it (3790)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you deserved it (13674)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49083) - you deserved it (21219)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50387) - you deserved it (9705)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (35498)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see well with them. She replied, "Oh yes, you have two big spots on your nose!" FML

#599
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16414) - you deserved it (2043)

On 12/25/2008 at 11:53pm - work - by jamjamy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22150) - you deserved it (1719)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (4748)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML

#181542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10472) - you deserved it (39816)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

#14896
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (4376)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by None (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriends house, whom I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her cell, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

#111857
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (10589)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by LAME (man) - United States (California)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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