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Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11423) - you deserved it (35261)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

#6115466
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35050) - you deserved it (2207)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:03am - work - by fmyjob (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

#6252858
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3970)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11330) - you deserved it (27931)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

#14086512
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (7995)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

#13508012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (8373)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (9632)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

#14628920
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (8350)

On 01/18/2011 at 6:07pm - misc - by sunshine19217 - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12988) - you deserved it (33469)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

#14488481
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

#15495668
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:05am - work - by dinomite -

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

#15546650
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34310) - you deserved it (3069)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm - health - by Spike (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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