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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

#6241352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7653) - you deserved it (25186)

On 11/10/2009 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Volume_control (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (58575)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML

#4594476
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (55046)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by SenescentSouthernBoy (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML

#14507132
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (35241)

On 01/08/2011 at 10:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (34752)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (96151)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

#19262944
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7647) - you deserved it (22901)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7647) - you deserved it (23841)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7646) - you deserved it (55592)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

#19501133
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7644) - you deserved it (20751)

On 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Katelyn - United States (California)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (30296)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7637) - you deserved it (70488)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML

#5662905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7636) - you deserved it (40229)

On 10/05/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by backwardsinlife - United States (Georgia)



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