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Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML

#19358358
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6768) - you deserved it (37832)

On 03/27/2012 at 5:29pm - love - by LoveBytes - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (23784)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

#8471153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6762) - you deserved it (36693)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:36am - animals - by rimjob - United States

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6761) - you deserved it (22554)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

#5286860
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6761) - you deserved it (54077)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

#7052251
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6756) - you deserved it (34294)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by ParanoidFreak (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

#12388873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6752) - you deserved it (32970)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Lola (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (46483)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

#2773226
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (69661)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by LetsMakeLove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (28181)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

#5059729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (45213)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm - misc - by BadassNinja (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

#5163445
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (32867)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

#20069784
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6741) - you deserved it (19745)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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