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Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

#16817769
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9684) - you deserved it (44033)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:56pm - health - by run4fun (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9682) - you deserved it (54806)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9681) - you deserved it (50644)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9678) - you deserved it (27617)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML

#19188907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9673) - you deserved it (28525)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:21pm - work - by tammylauraine - United States

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9669) - you deserved it (24129)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML

#18982881
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9669) - you deserved it (44518)

On 02/03/2012 at 7:48am - misc - by Jodie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

#18343530
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9666) - you deserved it (25586)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to wax my own eyebrows with a Do It Yourself kit from the pharmacy. I'm now missing half of my right eyebrow. FML

#12736614
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9664) - you deserved it (38168)

On 08/25/2010 at 9:10am - misc - by Eyebrowsgone - United States (California)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9663) - you deserved it (24095)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

#11712585
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9660) - you deserved it (35557)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (24824)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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