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Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12993) - you deserved it (33673)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, I was at a birthday party and got my face rubbed in with a cake. When I came out of the restroom having washed my face I noticed one of the girls going in. Just to be nice I asked, "They put cake on your face too, did they?" She said no, that was just her make-up. FML

#5247555
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12988) - you deserved it (31275)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by nickname (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12983) - you deserved it (28178)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

#5930750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12977) - you deserved it (29543)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (32852)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML

#19905644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12965) - you deserved it (27577)

On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12964) - you deserved it (40683)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12962) - you deserved it (137963)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

#5206414
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12963) - you deserved it (47741)

On 09/12/2009 at 1:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

#73
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12958) - you deserved it (53163)

On 10/26/2008 at 11:27pm - misc - by Erasmus - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12959) - you deserved it (25963)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

#2949089
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12944) - you deserved it (37356)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



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