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Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

#13726348
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (44376)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm - kids - by lilmamma - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML

#19997829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (31830)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14304) - you deserved it (34075)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

#2573344
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (56381)

On 06/03/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by ivyleaguebabe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

#15872147
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14295) - you deserved it (59165)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by EmDa (woman) - India

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14295) - you deserved it (34011)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14294) - you deserved it (22094)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

#18788734
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14291) - you deserved it (30041)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

#12418259
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14288) - you deserved it (23810)

On 08/09/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by mitsuko045 (woman) - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

#18823923
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (33575)

On 01/16/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (29842)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

#4442846
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (41726)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (17558)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)



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