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Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9066) - you deserved it (32961)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

#3389802
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9062) - you deserved it (69551)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (25643)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

#2593362
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9056) - you deserved it (93170)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9056) - you deserved it (26772)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (53271)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, I was doing my paper round. I got to the last house and thought I had done everything right. I checked my list of houses, and I had done every single one wrong. I went and got all the papers back and delivered them again. That was when I realised I did them right in the first place. FML

#7231970
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9045) - you deserved it (28201)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:14am - work - by Harry (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

#757455
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (103896)

On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (83289)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9030) - you deserved it (62967)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

#14502012
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (27629)

On 01/07/2011 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

#17579563
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (36544)

On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (30318)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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