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Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

#7209759
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8153) - you deserved it (20460)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8152) - you deserved it (51636)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

#6884813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8150) - you deserved it (41648)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (85473)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (22837)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

Today, while I was working in the liquor store, I was trying to impress my hot boss by lifting three cases of Grey goose. Turns out I can't, and I'll be working for the next two months of the rest of my summer paying it all back. FML

#2900740
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8144) - you deserved it (56061)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:13am - work - by damgoose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8144) - you deserved it (82736)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

#7278086
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (27471)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8137) - you deserved it (72416)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8133) - you deserved it (32183)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

#18579452
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8131) - you deserved it (30909)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm - health - by justnance - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8131) - you deserved it (79926)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)



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