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Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

#10514863
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7013) - you deserved it (40062)

On 05/13/2010 at 9:11pm - misc - by BikerBuddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the S and M catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML

#6738802
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7010) - you deserved it (15287)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by sorrydad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7009) - you deserved it (33815)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7009) - you deserved it (29082)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

#3555384
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (62131)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7001) - you deserved it (46682)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6997) - you deserved it (31004)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6994) - you deserved it (25611)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML

#8719119
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6986) - you deserved it (27491)

On 02/28/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by apple (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6985) - you deserved it (25407)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6985) - you deserved it (36501)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6985) - you deserved it (40588)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6971) - you deserved it (28872)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)



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