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Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

#5086359
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11836) - you deserved it (43206)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11835) - you deserved it (37252)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11833) - you deserved it (31333)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

#14695021
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11830) - you deserved it (32643)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35757)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into Target's dressing rooms to try pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

#14074795
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11819) - you deserved it (20498)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by freezingtodeath - United States (Ohio)

Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

#13764337
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11818) - you deserved it (22899)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

#12818832
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11817) - you deserved it (23057)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Palf - Germany (Brandenburg)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11817) - you deserved it (136791)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

#14497989
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11816) - you deserved it (18488)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:22pm - misc - by RabbitOwner - United States

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11812) - you deserved it (26751)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

#3446462
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11809) - you deserved it (48710)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:29am - love - by pinkrazrgirl247 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (36138)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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