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Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15862) - you deserved it (88637)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15855) - you deserved it (105390)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

#2293
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15848) - you deserved it (6856)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:04am - love - by sadass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (75528)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

#2010345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15841) - you deserved it (56182)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (26980)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15837) - you deserved it (39510)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

#21353788
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (34013)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by randomdude3890 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15833) - you deserved it (30097)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

#708
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15831) - you deserved it (17375)

On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15825) - you deserved it (19072)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15811) - you deserved it (65728)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15807) - you deserved it (48421)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)



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