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Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

#6239894
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (19521)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:09am - intimacy - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

#19662501
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8268) - you deserved it (22391)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

#16879498
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8266) - you deserved it (49481)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:09am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8264) - you deserved it (35675)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

#14644805
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8259) - you deserved it (20063)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8256) - you deserved it (26886)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8252) - you deserved it (47091)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

#17685983
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8251) - you deserved it (40402)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:05am - work - by sad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and its not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

#10930863
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8250) - you deserved it (27954)

On 06/02/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by Kbizz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (61118)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

#13998189
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8250) - you deserved it (38781)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8248) - you deserved it (18771)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML

#7099836
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8244) - you deserved it (18289)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by cmilla (man) - United States (Washington)



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