Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (73598)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

#3651
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7733) - you deserved it (22849)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (32793)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

#15542266
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7728) - you deserved it (46137)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

#19636760
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (18316)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (30359)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

#6357230
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (37174)

On 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by ggbhghggg - United States (Missouri)

Today, two really hot guys pulled up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me and pointing down, I figured they were being pigs so I flipped them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me of the flat tire I had. FML

#689967
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7724) - you deserved it (77379)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:14pm - misc - by flattire (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

#16905617
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7719) - you deserved it (53630)

On 06/29/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anza (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7714) - you deserved it (80539)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7712) - you deserved it (24795)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7710) - you deserved it (32252)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you deserved it (25148)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: