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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (31564)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

#7455740
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5986) - you deserved it (32956)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (35424)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

#6129909
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5984) - you deserved it (17943)

On 11/03/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by HadToApologize (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

#14569755
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5981) - you deserved it (34638)

On 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by shadowsonicstar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

#7946565
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5977) - you deserved it (37229)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by Nominome - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

#5209452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5967) - you deserved it (48399)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

#14729337
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5961) - you deserved it (34802)

On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

#19334531
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5958) - you deserved it (27639)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML

#7370442
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5953) - you deserved it (26759)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by emilyupsidedown (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5953) - you deserved it (42723)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5951) - you deserved it (77462)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5944) - you deserved it (26891)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)



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