Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was bored out of my mind at work. I told my coworker he was lucky to be leaving early. I forgot the reason of his early departure was to go to his grandfather's funeral. FML

#12271611
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (31391)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:21pm - work - by PCop (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (95818)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

#19262944
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (22830)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

#6241352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7619) - you deserved it (25084)

On 11/10/2009 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Volume_control (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

#6686658
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (27913)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML

#19861770
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (35668)

On 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm - love - by sierra - United States

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you deserved it (18014)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

#19501133
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (20656)

On 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Katelyn - United States (California)

Today, I went to Cheese Cake Factory for dinner. There was this hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt ?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

#2424639
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7614) - you deserved it (61671)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by getmoneyab (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

#1815
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7612) - you deserved it (18124)

On 01/20/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7612) - you deserved it (34653)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7610) - you deserved it (23748)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

#7420150
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7609) - you deserved it (38685)

On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: