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Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9499) - you deserved it (23482)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

#4808009
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9495) - you deserved it (61610)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (27640)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (22603)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the fake me got more birthday greetings than the real me. FML

#19682263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you deserved it (24227)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:17am - love - by TheL1nds - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9491) - you deserved it (62004)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (34657)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

#7815637
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (28291)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9486) - you deserved it (37489)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (48767)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9483) - you deserved it (57099)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

#15183432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9483) - you deserved it (52675)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

#13309990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9469) - you deserved it (23531)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by ohshootgirl (woman) - United States (New York)



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