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Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

#13991826
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8922) - you deserved it (40765)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8922) - you deserved it (26146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (25166)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

#795455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (75381)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by OrangeTree12 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

#864808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (60135)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

#7125178
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8915) - you deserved it (30533)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by PWI_addict (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8915) - you deserved it (26197)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML

#10664484
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8914) - you deserved it (19631)

On 05/21/2010 at 6:11am - misc - by CARnage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

#7249496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8912) - you deserved it (26861)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

#5968362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8907) - you deserved it (34411)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by kiran - United States (California)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8905) - you deserved it (44732)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (31893)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (27362)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)



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