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Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

#19327159
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (21684)

On 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

#9138869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7251) - you deserved it (37999)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by Midge (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

#18906599
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7250) - you deserved it (25820)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54am - health - by lol - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7250) - you deserved it (14882)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you deserved it (19415)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML

#6629276
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7246) - you deserved it (28275)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:43am - money - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7241) - you deserved it (96242)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML

#3790073
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7234) - you deserved it (58605)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7231) - you deserved it (65191)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7227) - you deserved it (25417)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

#327
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7225) - you deserved it (60409)

On 11/18/2008 at 5:37am - misc - by brebis - Sent from mobile version

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

#13327149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (34453)

On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7220) - you deserved it (31166)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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