Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (23845)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

#14220139
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (38938)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:51am - love - by LD619 - United States (California)

Today, my coworker told me that the framed picture our boss put on her desk last week was not, as I originally thought, a picture of her father, but a picture of Rupert Murdoch. FML

#999
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (2863)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:03am - work - by newscorp employee - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (28213)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12003) - you deserved it (31202)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

#15621344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11999) - you deserved it (29372)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

#18904031
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (32607)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:00am - intimacy - by talkingtoaretard (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11992) - you deserved it (27613)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

#6392030
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11989) - you deserved it (29149)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:21pm - health - by MrZach (man) - United States

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

#19826563
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11984) - you deserved it (23803)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11984) - you deserved it (29907)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

#3929257
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11982) - you deserved it (54503)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11981) - you deserved it (56450)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: