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Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

by Oh really / 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 10:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

by hating labels / 10/23/2012 at 4:21am / Australia / Kids

Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML

by Jorgen / 12/17/2015 at 8:45pm / United States / Money

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2015 at 6:54pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Health

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

by Todd / 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm / United States / Health

Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML

by deaddoggy / 03/02/2016 at 3:46pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Animals

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

by Garry / 03/04/2010 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Work

Today, my football practice ended early due to severe weather. Not only had I misplaced my phone earlier in the day, both my parents thought the other had picked me up. I was in the rain for an hour and a half. FML

by pi_power_15 / 08/10/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

by Loola / 12/21/2008 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

by Girl With a Cold / 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm / Work

Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML

by marriedbutlonely / 02/14/2016 at 9:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love