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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

#14133730
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (9830)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:09pm - misc - by gudmarjoh (woman) - Iceland

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22576) - you deserved it (42577)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

#21475579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (11676)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (4984)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

#21439963
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (3163)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:44am - misc - by annoyedgf -

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law turned up at my doorstep close to midnight, drunk off her tits, crying about how my wife is punishing her and throwing her life away by marrying me. FML

#21470151
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (1468)

On 09/19/2015 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2201)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (4238)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

#21509012
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (1399)

On 12/29/2015 at 9:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

#7914611
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (2757)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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