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Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (50995)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (41462)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18416) - you deserved it (36805)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

#10628533
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18416) - you deserved it (28249)

On 05/19/2010 at 2:42pm - misc - by phukt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (3321)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (9701)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (24817)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (6148)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (10676)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18396) - you deserved it (5109)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18392) - you deserved it (3749)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (60430)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

#20088602
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)



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