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Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (61404)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

#19915289
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (20860)

On 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7987) - you deserved it (47534)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7985) - you deserved it (33335)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7984) - you deserved it (46461)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7979) - you deserved it (81644)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

#5873
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (19973)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

#5830310
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (32979)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7973) - you deserved it (26737)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

#7372810
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7973) - you deserved it (22713)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:22am - money - by bankergirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7972) - you deserved it (31661)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (24315)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7962) - you deserved it (54575)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)



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