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Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10120) - you deserved it (42644)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

#7027247
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10118) - you deserved it (24198)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:08am - work - by bells - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10114) - you deserved it (51198)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (19742)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (70170)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

#777517
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (54350)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:10am - work - by Boothater (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

#5560693
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (34947)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10103) - you deserved it (46608)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wanted to clean the screen of my phone so I could put a new screen protector on it. My mom handed me a can of compressed air and I sprayed a healthy amount on the screen. It turns out my mom handed me a can of WD 40. FML

#7538568
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (26009)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by ianj (man) - United States

Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML

#8756246
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (22125)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by whywilson.. (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

#3205339
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (48350)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

#6583766
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (37562)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

#20416791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (32388)

On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom



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