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Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14628) - you deserved it (52383) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14620) - you deserved it (67605)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14619) - you deserved it (30487)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

#18101485
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14617) - you deserved it (19882)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14617) - you deserved it (36173)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (91138)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (28309)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (32498)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML

#16176311
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (25702)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:17pm - misc - by ihatelife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night. So I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. Thats when he said, "you have lettuce in your teeth." FML

#2428890
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14597) - you deserved it (43898)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#6111658
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14592) - you deserved it (26454)

On 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by CandlesSuck - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

#6546053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14592) - you deserved it (31009)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14589) - you deserved it (33852)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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