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Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML

#13863869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9329) - you deserved it (17484)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

#2931703
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9328) - you deserved it (79408)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by idiotfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (76582)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9322) - you deserved it (54115)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

#158750
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9319) - you deserved it (52757)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9315) - you deserved it (23942)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9306) - you deserved it (46310)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you deserved it (37755)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9298) - you deserved it (24309)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (35101)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9290) - you deserved it (17830)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9283) - you deserved it (34115)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9274) - you deserved it (79538)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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