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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

#7070203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (26186)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8729) - you deserved it (32587)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML

#13843258
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8729) - you deserved it (32319)

On 11/14/2010 at 6:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8728) - you deserved it (51547)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (23849)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8726) - you deserved it (26502)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8725) - you deserved it (58443)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (28376) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8721) - you deserved it (31607)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (59775)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

#4922753
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8718) - you deserved it (58368)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got half way to the airport and realized I forgot my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then my pocket vibrated. FML

#7158067
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8716) - you deserved it (34581)

On 01/05/2010 at 1:40am - misc - by Allen - France

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

#7192878
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8715) - you deserved it (13679)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by a.baybay (woman) - United States



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