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Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

#20039352
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (21385)

On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11108) - you deserved it (21359)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

#13124978
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11105) - you deserved it (35660)

On 09/20/2010 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11105) - you deserved it (26645)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

#1675057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11104) - you deserved it (46103)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

#10959899
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (31111)

On 06/04/2010 at 1:36am - work - by firecrotch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11095) - you deserved it (30202)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

#6746306
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (27570)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (30558)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm on holiday, but my alarm clock isn't. It rang at 6 o'clock. FML

#213
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11084) - you deserved it (41189)

On 11/05/2008 at 2:35am - misc - by Fsd - France (Franche-Comte)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11082) - you deserved it (40891)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in for a drink. I discovered that when it's cold, sometimes the gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto the sidewalk. I had to pay for $53 of spilled gas. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11071) - you deserved it (35956)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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