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Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16350) - you deserved it (34319)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16346) - you deserved it (47833)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16345) - you deserved it (38378)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, my mother bought me some « biodegradable » tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

#686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16330) - you deserved it (1855)

On 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by mc - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (10517)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16315) - you deserved it (77344)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16314) - you deserved it (29347)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

#9387980
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16313) - you deserved it (22549)

On 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by bad boyfriend - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16309) - you deserved it (57706)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16304) - you deserved it (48188)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (4382)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

#5814230
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16299) - you deserved it (30718)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by awwshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

#5626846
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16288) - you deserved it (4290)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by ohnoooooo (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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