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Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10433) - you deserved it (128376)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

#17736567
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10430) - you deserved it (21393)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm - work - by Brian B - United States

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

#10777630
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (36752)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10426) - you deserved it (33114)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10425) - you deserved it (46563)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into Target's dressing rooms to try pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

#14074795
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10423) - you deserved it (18978)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by freezingtodeath - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (20305)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10420) - you deserved it (24397)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10417) - you deserved it (38812)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10415) - you deserved it (24338)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10412) - you deserved it (61442)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10411) - you deserved it (37031)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10410) - you deserved it (32379)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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