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Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML

#21429629
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (7504)

On 06/21/2015 at 4:42pm - work - by ihateloopholes (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (6982)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (4664)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (12184)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (52486)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (36821)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19425) - you deserved it (29714)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

#20061876
124 comments

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (7468)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (4532)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (33134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19412) - you deserved it (87838)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (35522)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)



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