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Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

#9507833
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9942) - you deserved it (35229)

On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9935) - you deserved it (48287)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9934) - you deserved it (32071)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

#5560693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9930) - you deserved it (34561)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9931) - you deserved it (42421)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML

#8406853
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (33149)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:41pm - work - by prisonbitch - United States

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (20810)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

#7711945
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9924) - you deserved it (32881)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:55pm - love - by madgf - Sent from mobile version

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

#4077228
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9923) - you deserved it (67031)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:34am - intimacy - by condom_kid (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

#19314232
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9919) - you deserved it (22620)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

#17518682
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9919) - you deserved it (24576)

On 08/19/2011 at 11:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9916) - you deserved it (69082)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML

#18036713
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (34845)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:32am - love - by hatetodisappoint - United States



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