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Today, after getting home from school, I realized I'd tucked my shirt into my underwear this morning. I'm fairly certain everyone got a good look at my lime green underwear. FML

#8091808
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (19861)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

#12997934
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (53116)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

#3821134
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6485) - you deserved it (77239)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

#6431680
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6478) - you deserved it (20258)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6478) - you deserved it (26473)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (10837)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6469) - you deserved it (44534)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6467) - you deserved it (38624)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

#20094526
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6466) - you deserved it (20767)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6462) - you deserved it (30667)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

#19252817
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6462) - you deserved it (59369)

On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6458) - you deserved it (29361)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6455) - you deserved it (31506)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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