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Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML

#5761626
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9511) - you deserved it (39606)

On 10/10/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

#698
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (19370)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

#18883527
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (21851)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:49pm - health - by cheerymama (woman) - United States

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

#5021143
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9504) - you deserved it (45290)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (33393)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a v-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year old grandma. FML

#14051903
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (53744)

On 12/01/2010 at 8:14pm - love - by agentile (man) - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9498) - you deserved it (40687)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (28318)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML

#15678206
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you deserved it (34995)

On 04/07/2011 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9490) - you deserved it (32411)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

#3799208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9485) - you deserved it (54092)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

#2984758
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (39002)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:31am - health - by ihpgolj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9480) - you deserved it (80026)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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