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Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (4218)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (9118)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (3572)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (33069)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (8487)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (3160)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

#21268936
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (40296)

On 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm - misc - by ThatNewCarSmell (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (1988)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML

#18080163
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19621) - you deserved it (31276)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm - money - by Pimaan - United States

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (1397)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

#20022605
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (9380)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (4890)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. Earlier, we scheduled our classes for senior year to match perfectly. Can't wait. FML

#15378969
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (37030)

On 03/19/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Uh oh... - United States



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