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Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

#14954062
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10642) - you deserved it (16411)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

#13613595
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10641) - you deserved it (23736)

On 10/27/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

#15900752
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (30067)

On 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm - misc - by Niquesha (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10634) - you deserved it (39419)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (38993)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML

#2846826
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10629) - you deserved it (70006)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML

#1106901
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10627) - you deserved it (68959)

On 04/19/2009 at 1:03am - money - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10626) - you deserved it (71707)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

#18703158
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (77212)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10621) - you deserved it (73158)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10621) - you deserved it (32216)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (28961)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

#15640936
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10607) - you deserved it (36851)

On 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Cavan)



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