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Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

#8740298
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (3761)

On 03/01/2010 at 1:43am - love - by duckwater (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (1537)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

#3783487
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (52717)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by daisyann (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

#16645902
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (27814)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm - money - by fuckcops (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

#5847291
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (49735)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (2362)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

#20089585
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (1651)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

#19324778
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:17am - work - by glens - United States

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

#19742103
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (3913)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:00am - work - by Jonas - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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