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Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

#2111362
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11137) - you deserved it (67753)

On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)

Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML

#15429029
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11136) - you deserved it (34037)

On 03/22/2011 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11135) - you deserved it (21675)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11125) - you deserved it (39101)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

#19692066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11123) - you deserved it (16967)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:24am - love - by stalked (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (23015)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, the dry cleaner next to my house went up in flames. I went outside to look at the fire, as I looked on in amazement I realized I had dropped off all of my work clothes at the cleaners two days before. I was supposed to pick them up today but was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the store. FML

#4449065
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (60449)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11112) - you deserved it (24321)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11113) - you deserved it (61294)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11113) - you deserved it (42745)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

#20039352
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11104) - you deserved it (21369)

On 08/24/2012 at 2:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

#13124978
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11097) - you deserved it (35637)

On 09/20/2010 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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