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Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (47063)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

#4404906
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (57168)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (25544)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10249) - you deserved it (51855)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend texted me saying she is determined to find out what skank her brother is sneaking around with. I've been secretly dating her brother for months; apparently I'm the skank. FML

#19482686
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10247) - you deserved it (33995)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:29am - love - by OL2R - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

#5636534
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10242) - you deserved it (48605)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:03am - misc - by rebeccaremily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

#19268637
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (21544)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

#13260698
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10225) - you deserved it (32171)

On 09/30/2010 at 5:56am - intimacy - by ohyaknow (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

#16235775
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10223) - you deserved it (41781)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10223) - you deserved it (43083)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

#8716792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10222) - you deserved it (19999)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by maddy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

#7290738
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you deserved it (23927)

On 01/11/2010 at 11:03pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

#14681443
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10216) - you deserved it (39515)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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