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Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (4974)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (4907)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23355) - you deserved it (3787)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23355) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

#19767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (1693)

On 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm - work - by in_hardik - United States

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

#7925072
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:25am - health - by aurorason - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (3920)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (16970)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (2492)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (4623)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (58109)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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