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Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

by GreatParenting / 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm / United States (Idaho) / Holidays

Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML

by Oh Cock / 10/10/2015 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

by Taraa3 / 10/10/2009 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2015 at 1:50pm / India (Karnataka) / Health

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

by MikeIsMaster / 02/16/2010 at 5:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

by Economess / 09/17/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

by yourmom / 09/21/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

by FullMonty / 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

by unknown / 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

by CassieMarieee / 12/10/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:37am / Australia / Kids

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous