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Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

#21456695
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (1558)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

#14186958
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (2868)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by yermom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21298) - you deserved it (7376)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (1973)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (27471)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

#21446817
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (2989)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (2320)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

#21455597
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm - love - by fridgemylifee - United States

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (34131)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (6673)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

#461
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21288) - you deserved it (9302)

On 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm - misc - by greg76 - Sent from mobile version

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (43748)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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