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Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19265) - you deserved it (5274)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (3173)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19296) - you deserved it (3527)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (3830)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (1247)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (7440)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

#19549742
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (13179)

On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (29692)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

#390
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (12514)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:26pm - misc - by niii - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19251) - you deserved it (1289)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (3447)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (27979)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (5035)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)



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