Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17102) - you deserved it (2287)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

#18881874
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (29319)

On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (43111)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (83521)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17095) - you deserved it (65448)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (28666)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

#2237527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (52646)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17089) - you deserved it (60776)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad squirted water at me. Fortunately, I blocked it. Unfortunately, I blocked it with my new $200 camera. FML

#12992110
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (20841)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by coolcucumber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (5758)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (32844)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

#2149
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (3818)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by unifail - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

#8733568
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (14875)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Ben - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: