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Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (59743)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking back to my hotel from the town square, and got lost. I turned back and walked around town for an hour, freaking out and panicking. When I finally found the hotel, I realized it was practically a stone's throw from where I was when I turned around. FML

#19313796
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (6234)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16494) - you deserved it (109484)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
533 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16492) - you deserved it (251884)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML

#20184451
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16491) - you deserved it (2265)

On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

#3199012
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16484) - you deserved it (52438)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Noj12345 (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16481) - you deserved it (27875)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16479) - you deserved it (5592)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

#5424247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16477) - you deserved it (33937)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16475) - you deserved it (25948)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML

#21071932
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16475) - you deserved it (46130)

On 02/26/2014 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML

#15111306
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16473) - you deserved it (29105)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:27am - money - by naughtytwinsisters (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (8582)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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