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Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (6891)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (85447)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (1961)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (3356)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (1927)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (59308)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (2149)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (16795)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (4969)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

#2147248
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21217) - you deserved it (73960)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21214) - you deserved it (3024)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)



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