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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

#13539413
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11005) - you deserved it (36779)

On 10/21/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11002) - you deserved it (34721)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11001) - you deserved it (33397)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10998) - you deserved it (30980)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10995) - you deserved it (50694)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

#14468099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10994) - you deserved it (28993)

On 01/04/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by theatreluver (woman) - United States

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10993) - you deserved it (16980)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

#8356
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (41518)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10986) - you deserved it (47102)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

#9150166
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (22077)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10978) - you deserved it (31880)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10975) - you deserved it (153046)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

#4994596
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10973) - you deserved it (45274)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)



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