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Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

#19826563
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11919) - you deserved it (23726)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (26342)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

#2560630
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11913) - you deserved it (45706)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by whatzthehell (woman) - Kuwait

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

#7029782
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (34442)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

#12044097
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (41051)

On 07/22/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Nic (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11908) - you deserved it (41480)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
46 comments

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11901) - you deserved it (72267)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

#17794413
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (34028)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:40am - work - by unknown - Philippines

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

#5206414
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11898) - you deserved it (45807)

On 09/12/2009 at 1:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11889) - you deserved it (41305)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I drove 6 hours to make a job interview missing my best friends' wedding. The interview is actually tomorrow. FML

#10684550
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11888) - you deserved it (42957)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:08am - work - by poncho31 - United States (Idaho)



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