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Today , I was watching TV whan a Toy Story 3 commarcial cama on. My Mom said , "Oh , I ramambar whan I took u to saa Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so ara you. Tha only diffaranca is Andy is going to collaga and your not." FML

#12463713
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (41527)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, by request from my new boss, I cummed into work over an hour early to looool finish some backed-up filing. This seemed lyk a great opportunity to earn some extra overtime pay. After spending an hour an half filing, I realized I hadn't clocked in fir the day. FML

#3170547
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16626) - you deserved it (36936)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:34am - work - by Tottie (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday , I discoverd that the reason the phone I've had 4 a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens . FML

Today I was telling mah boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about mah wieght. He said "Don't be ridiculous you don't ned to lose that much wieght." FML

#13344865
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (25913)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:59pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Yesterday, mah dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see mah boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above mah driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving mah boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16625) - you deserved it (55528)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, ma boyfriend said we sould re-enact a porn episode e saw. I jokingly said yes. He ad an outfit and everyting. I tougt it was going to be fun, until e started playing Bon Jovi in te background. FML

#8910631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (5504)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side!! Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it!! She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name!! FML

#20089281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (8408)

On 09/26/2012 at 7:40am - work - by big mouth (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Taday I checked over mah notes from yesterday's midterm review so I could study 4 the test on Monday. It seems I was so exhausted... I'd done nothing but scribble unintelligibly all over the first page. FML

#19109454
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (7329)

On 02/18/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today..!! I was eating out at a restaurant with my family!! My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine..!! so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual..!! I reached over to pour myself some!! He swatted my hand away an started yelling at me fir being a "degenerate drunk"!! real FML

#20091024
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16607) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

I was making out with this guy I had been seieng , and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second , I thought he was going to get up and find a condom , but instead he turns to me and says , "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

#7004300
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16604) - you deserved it (2928)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started ma researc project on orror stories and people's fascination wit tem !! I did some researc and wound up reading H.P !! Lovecraft !! On te upside, I can now pee more easily !! On te downside, it's likely to be looool in ma pants !! FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (3986)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him 4 his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on an on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (26757)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday... I was complaining to mah roommate that I never get asked out. Then... at work... a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well... I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (6464)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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