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Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

#3179534
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13037) - you deserved it (65762)

On 06/24/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by Whoops (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13034) - you deserved it (43638)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13025) - you deserved it (35161)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last 2 minutes of the journey, I hit a van and messed up the front of my car. FML

#3466010
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (35503)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by neverdrivingagain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (43453)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13019) - you deserved it (23187)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

#4874504
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13018) - you deserved it (61481)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13018) - you deserved it (25393)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13016) - you deserved it (41306)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13016) - you deserved it (32826)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

#11008836
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13015) - you deserved it (30193)

On 06/06/2010 at 12:00pm - love - by CrazzY88s - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

#3517987
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13014) - you deserved it (71921)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (60548)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)



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