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Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11958) - you deserved it (45878)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11955) - you deserved it (28108)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

#538
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11953) - you deserved it (20923)

On 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm - misc - by kisyfrot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

#6392030
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11952) - you deserved it (29061)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:21pm - health - by MrZach (man) - United States

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11951) - you deserved it (35919)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11952) - you deserved it (31106)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

#15621344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11950) - you deserved it (29301)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

#3929257
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11947) - you deserved it (54380)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (56307)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (27510)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (30957)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11927) - you deserved it (33191)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, my coworker told me that the framed picture our boss put on her desk last week was not, as I originally thought, a picture of her father, but a picture of Rupert Murdoch. FML

#999
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11923) - you deserved it (2853)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:03am - work - by newscorp employee - United States (New Jersey)



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