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Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8604) - you deserved it (52246)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (32291)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

#18144620
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (17837)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

#6629072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8599) - you deserved it (26453)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by Delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8598) - you deserved it (29335)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8597) - you deserved it (24382)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8591) - you deserved it (19213)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8587) - you deserved it (30407)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML

#18036713
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8586) - you deserved it (31240)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:32am - love - by hatetodisappoint - United States

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8583) - you deserved it (48361)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

#17108827
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8583) - you deserved it (52744)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm - misc - by Stephanie - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (22671)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)



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