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Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17343) - you deserved it (38861)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (40615)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

#16501427
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17341) - you deserved it (30476)

On 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (113779)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML

#2968548
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (44427)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (41186)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (3417)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17329) - you deserved it (46484)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17318) - you deserved it (31518)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (55089)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

#12023644
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17315) - you deserved it (42272)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Goody2shoes (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

#21256258
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (46665)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by hockusa3 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (35852)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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