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Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two ours later I get a text from my ex announcing e as just been diagnosed wit clamydia. I now ave to explain tis to my fiancé. FML

#19890281
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16667) - you deserved it (30542)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wantd to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

#2900113
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (48972)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized te extent of crus on one of employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of te staff poto to see wat we would look lyk as a couple. FML

#3787096
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16653) - you deserved it (38356)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:08pm - work - by beingthebossisoverrated (woman) - United States (California)

I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressd out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

#19452879
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16650) - you deserved it (8260)

On 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by dl - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I blurtd out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public , attracting mystifid stares. The thing is , I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past , in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (9143)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I Realized Mah Friend And I Should Be More Careful Wat We Say Around Mah Younger Brother. I Never Thought He Was Paying Attention Until Today. My Stepmom Told Him It Was Time To Go To Bed. He Responded, "I Think It's Time For You To Suck One." My Brother Is 4. FML

#615927
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16647) - you deserved it (71654)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete areahere the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16647) - you deserved it (68558)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I noticed that whenever someone belches , I immediately think of mah boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (3212)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm apparently so desperate 4 companionship that body has subconsciously synced period with the grl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (2420)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today I calld my husband an he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wantd to spend time with him an cummd home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (146925)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I work fir a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company an drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive an energetic role-model fir our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

#2158
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16629) - you deserved it (2082)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:45am - work - by DarkPain - United States (California)

Today , I was watching TV whan a Toy Story 3 commarcial cama on. My Mom said , "Oh , I ramambar whan I took u to saa Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so ara you. Tha only diffaranca is Andy is going to collaga and your not." FML

#12463713
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (41527)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, by request from my new boss, I cummed into work over an hour early to looool finish some backed-up filing. This seemed lyk a great opportunity to earn some extra overtime pay. After spending an hour an half filing, I realized I hadn't clocked in fir the day. FML

#3170547
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16626) - you deserved it (36936)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:34am - work - by Tottie (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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