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Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (3826)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (2861)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

#316
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (10398)

On 11/17/2008 at 12:04am - work - by Tomtom - Sent from mobile version

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21329) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (3605)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

#6708015
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (6293)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (27160)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (3350)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (11652)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

#9177145
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (7348)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

#7235673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by Justaddwater - France

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

#2282395
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (46914)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (1711)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States



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