Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 31 July 2010 23:24 / United States
By icareaboutmyhair - / Monday 28 February 2011 15:27 / Estonia
By Embarrassed Swimmer - / Sunday 11 December 2011 07:23 / Australia

  Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

By anonymous - / Thursday 22 March 2012 04:46 / United States - Chelsea

Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML

By tomoxishigaki / Thursday 17 November 2011 01:32 / United States

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

By CryoSpectre / Monday 11 May 2015 04:23 / United States - San Francisco
FML - The follow-up

Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML

bkb12 Say more :
Hey everyone, I'm the OP of this post. I didn't notice the smell for so long because the smell had started two weeks ago and only got worse everyday. I looked at my car and couldn't find the source. I sprayed it with febreze hoping that would make it go away. I'm a teenage girl, so I don't know much about cars so I figured it was just something in the hood. When I finally found the chicken, it had...
By bkb12 / Friday 8 May 2015 21:44 / United States - South Windsor
FML - The follow-up
jamboooy Say more :
My old friends brother.
By jamboooy - / Sunday 18 March 2012 06:01 / United States - Monterey Park
By SM - / Friday 30 October 2009 03:35 / United States
By fufu_mutt - / Wednesday 15 December 2010 04:24 / United States
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