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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (8241)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (6541)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

#7232950
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (5839)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (2385)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

#21496419
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1393)

On 11/24/2015 at 8:01pm - animals - by anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

#19666389
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (2222)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

#8331914
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (4970)

On 02/16/2010 at 5:46am - work - by MikeIsMaster (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (5016)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML

#21445022
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (7921)

On 07/21/2015 at 1:50pm - health - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

#8673018
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (15432)

On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

#21437185
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (1955)

On 07/06/2015 at 2:03am - work - by breadcrumb - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

#19585247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (2552)

On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

#20075333
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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