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Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (52112)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (31766)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

#9070657
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (33335)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:56am - love - by allennn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10095) - you deserved it (60593)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (34581)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10090) - you deserved it (37232)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10088) - you deserved it (91914)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10087) - you deserved it (39153)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

#7027247
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10087) - you deserved it (24141)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:08am - work - by bells - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10083) - you deserved it (33758)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (19693)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10082) - you deserved it (31411)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)



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