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Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for my hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jack ass and was saying how people like him give us a bad reputation on the beach. I then see him running to his choking daughter. FML

#1123133
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11409) - you deserved it (79432)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by howembarrasing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML

#6586443
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11408) - you deserved it (54286)

On 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by DidntCheckTheCalendar (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11408) - you deserved it (55757)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

#7258041
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11406) - you deserved it (38950)

On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

#13945112
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11404) - you deserved it (22646)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:25am - love - by ohsosad (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (40931)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled over to help a girl with her car. I thought my limited mechanic skills would help look like a hero. She only needed her coolant cap unscrewed. With top down, shirt off, I was confident as I got out of my car. 10 minutes later I left because I couldn't unscrew the f***ing thing. FML

#1249093
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11400) - you deserved it (58390)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by edhalen (man) - United States

Today, I was driving home. It was late and I wanted to get home so I started speeding. I didn't wanna get a ticket so I slowed down everytime I saw a car that could be a cop, judging by headlights. There was a car with a busted headlight so I sped up. Couldn't be a cop car. It could. $216 proof. FML

#1999194
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11395) - you deserved it (50512)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11386) - you deserved it (25575)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, I have no cell phone reception as I am visiting family who lives on the side of a mountain. They told me there was service on top of the mountain, so I hiked up. Only when I got there did I realize I'd left my phone back down at the house. FML

#15342486
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11384) - you deserved it (40099)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:25pm - misc - by nooooo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11373) - you deserved it (55771)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML

#13854303
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11370) - you deserved it (30370)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)



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