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Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10681) - you deserved it (25120)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10672) - you deserved it (29361)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (35276)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10666) - you deserved it (124556)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

#15214579
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10665) - you deserved it (30217)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:18am - work - by Dx - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

#6659884
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10662) - you deserved it (28446)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10661) - you deserved it (36715)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (42608)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

#15122545
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10651) - you deserved it (66522)

On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

#13613595
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (23719)

On 10/27/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

#17139539
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (40914)

On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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