Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

#88598
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (51963)

On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML

#20528161
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (42682)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

#2373728
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (54948)

On 05/28/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by crazybiotch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9509) - you deserved it (73767)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML

#12518999
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9505) - you deserved it (30994)

On 08/14/2010 at 12:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML

#5761626
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9501) - you deserved it (39546)

On 10/10/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

#18883527
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9497) - you deserved it (21822)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:49pm - health - by cheerymama (woman) - United States

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9495) - you deserved it (33352)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML

#3826
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (38441)

On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

#5021143
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (45237)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a v-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year old grandma. FML

#14051903
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9490) - you deserved it (53688)

On 12/01/2010 at 8:14pm - love - by agentile (man) - United States

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

#698
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (19319)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: