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Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19520) - you deserved it (3638)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (44918)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (12934)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, I found out how stupid my girlfriend really is. She saw my room for the first time and started yelling at me, calling me racist, white trash for having a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. It's a British flag. FML

#21180829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19516) - you deserved it (2170)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by EmptyGlass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML

#17249343
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (30481)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by handyman13 - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (6856)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (5127)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (1659)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (8569)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (37778)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (4680)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (3637)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)



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