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Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

#19962159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (25946)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:47am - health - by fuuuuuh - United States (California)

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

#19980407
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10114) - you deserved it (18619)

On 07/23/2012 at 10:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (21569)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

#4417432
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (44856)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (77703)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

#18120511
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (30967)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10107) - you deserved it (83577)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (39273)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (52110)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (31765)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

#9070657
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (33333)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:56am - love - by allennn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10094) - you deserved it (60593)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (34580)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States



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