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Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18439) - you deserved it (3832)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

#740742
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (73737)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (11574)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (3325)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (2539)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (192955)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML

#16825145
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18430) - you deserved it (33676)

On 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm - health - by Ali (New York) - United States (New York)

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

#19972809
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (3939)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

#5424386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (6083)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:43am - intimacy - by fuzzy (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18425) - you deserved it (8377)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (47662)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (37233)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (3229)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)



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