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Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16025) - you deserved it (203481)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16022) - you deserved it (96756)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

#13626232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16023) - you deserved it (27021)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm - love - by Fatality (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16015) - you deserved it (11166)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16015) - you deserved it (29355)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16014) - you deserved it (57922) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (20284)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (32433)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (42580)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15992) - you deserved it (3111)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

#9387980
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (22118)

On 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by bad boyfriend - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15979) - you deserved it (32136)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15971) - you deserved it (24849)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States



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