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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10395) - you deserved it (28880)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10393) - you deserved it (36987)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

#13613595
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10392) - you deserved it (23304)

On 10/27/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10392) - you deserved it (24370)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (47134)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I was trying to change my PIN code in order to make my phone more secure and prevent people from getting information from it. Instead, I somehow ended up locking my phone permanently. FML

#9183283
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (26789)

On 03/18/2010 at 9:30am - misc - by ihateyouatt (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (24303)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I flew my wife, myself and three kids to pay a surprise visit to my parents who were going to be alone for Christmas. When we arrived, we found out they decided to go on vacation. We have nowhere to go. FML

#6914646
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (23287)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by homeless4Christmas (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21605)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (94099)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (35281)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

#891660
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (61392)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10368) - you deserved it (29628)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)



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