Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

#16
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (69686)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:26am - health - by Jigll -

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

#777517
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (54232)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:10am - work - by Boothater (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taken a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through that bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

#2560724
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (53260)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Unimpressed (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (46502)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

#4376703
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10070) - you deserved it (41079)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted to clean the screen of my phone so I could put a new screen protector on it. My mom handed me a can of compressed air and I sprayed a healthy amount on the screen. It turns out my mom handed me a can of WD 40. FML

#7538568
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10066) - you deserved it (25925)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by ianj (man) - United States

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10063) - you deserved it (51112)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10062) - you deserved it (48707)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10060) - you deserved it (24501)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (38214)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

#5929779
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (31940)

On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

#6462459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (33293)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML

#8756246
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (22071)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by whywilson.. (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: