Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (3772)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

#20399681
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (2450)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

#113556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21472) - you deserved it (54334)

On 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (40349)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (3294)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

#21458464
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (58404)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21460) - you deserved it (10105)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

#19966487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (1802)

On 07/21/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: