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Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23501) - you deserved it (3572)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (5571)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

#19515132
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (1966)

On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (3429)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML

#20044273
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (5473)

On 08/27/2012 at 9:33am - work - by Joe - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (62835)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (9000)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute after I got into the front seat of an elderly man's car. The man was my grandfather, and he was taking me to a doctor's appointment, since I wasn't going to be allowed to drive home after it. FML

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

#21454739
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (5196)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:29am - love - by Frozen Food Fan - United States (Nevada)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

#21440904
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (1936)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:45am - misc - by anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (51344)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (5032)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)



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