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Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
95 comments

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18478) - you deserved it (5834)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18476) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (2164)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (48897)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18468) - you deserved it (31874)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18467) - you deserved it (52891)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18463) - you deserved it (100989)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (26013)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18455) - you deserved it (2709)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18453) - you deserved it (44414)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)



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