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Today, I just realised that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

#758
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (23497)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:34pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

#13283938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8700) - you deserved it (34314)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8693) - you deserved it (17327)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

#6131702
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8692) - you deserved it (23073)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8690) - you deserved it (49085)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

#19187545
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8686) - you deserved it (30695)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8683) - you deserved it (41061)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8683) - you deserved it (65944)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8683) - you deserved it (67748)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (64307)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (53656)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (30427)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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