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Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

#891545
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16837) - you deserved it (52491)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States

Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML

#19605681
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16834) - you deserved it (5122)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - work - by Brown345 (man) - United States

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

#19642956
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (4142)

On 05/18/2012 at 5:50pm - misc - by ooh cat - United States (California)

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

#21251320
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16830) - you deserved it (31410)

On 09/03/2014 at 6:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16823) - you deserved it (92699)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (30207)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (2388)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (28185)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

#20107435
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (7476)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

#19756229
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16800) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (25824)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16797) - you deserved it (2826)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

#10791004
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16792) - you deserved it (31128)

On 05/27/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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