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Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10499) - you deserved it (23662)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10499) - you deserved it (27124)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

#830447
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10496) - you deserved it (44479)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by rmo1776 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10495) - you deserved it (116798)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML

#8922378
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10494) - you deserved it (46699)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:35pm - love - by Crystal (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10488) - you deserved it (39047)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

#16075095
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10488) - you deserved it (44435)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10489) - you deserved it (40611)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (58978)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10486) - you deserved it (33177)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

#15244433
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10486) - you deserved it (42588)

On 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm - misc - by Trippy Penguin -

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10481) - you deserved it (24770)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version



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