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Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11235) - you deserved it (32850)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

#5335783
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11231) - you deserved it (52112)

On 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11230) - you deserved it (41675)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11228) - you deserved it (59136)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

#18768991
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11228) - you deserved it (33464)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (49787)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to see the "Cirque du Soleil" at the Albert Hall. It was amazing, apparently. Of course I wouldn't know, because I left my glasses at the hotel, and was sitting at the very back row. FML

#14754857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (26361)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by blind (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

#602
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11225) - you deserved it (23086)

On 12/26/2008 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Laloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stood up by a blind date. After calling and texting her about being a horrible person, she called me from the hospital. She was in a car accident. FML

#16439169
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11222) - you deserved it (54876)

On 05/31/2011 at 6:35pm - love - by bfall74 - Canada

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

#18300773
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11222) - you deserved it (40548)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by johnnydoe6969 - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (50178)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

#10815057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (27990)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:20am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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