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Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10125) - you deserved it (22337)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10119) - you deserved it (73159)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (86893)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was tending the cash register. I scanned a lady's items which totaled $89.68. She paid with a $100 bill. I gave her $11.32 change. She angrily gave back the extra dollar and complained about "schools nowadays". I'm an AP Calculus student. FML

#14563529
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10115) - you deserved it (43339)

On 01/13/2011 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

#19980407
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (18616)

On 07/23/2012 at 10:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

#19962159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (25942)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:47am - health - by fuuuuuh - United States (California)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (77696)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

#4417432
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10107) - you deserved it (44855)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (21568)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

#18120511
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (30963)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (83564)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (39266)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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