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Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

#4738686
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9590) - you deserved it (40510)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

#19188753
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you deserved it (23391)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by cfaul001 - United States (Texas)

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

#1930
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (18470)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by babygurl69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

#11712585
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9579) - you deserved it (35370)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

#12057
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9578) - you deserved it (20994)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:40pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

#2973939
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9576) - you deserved it (59363)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML

#17703171
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (17968)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9574) - you deserved it (24608)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

#14950423
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (42508)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by grrrr - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (66153)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

#11151626
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9567) - you deserved it (56212)

On 06/12/2010 at 6:13pm - health - by bobby - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9567) - you deserved it (100352)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States



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