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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10176) - you deserved it (21596)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to tell my boyfriend happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after it sent, I realized the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

#15766023
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (50700)

On 04/13/2011 at 2:15am - love - by Zebracat - United States

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (38122)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10174) - you deserved it (54982)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10173) - you deserved it (77100)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10174) - you deserved it (35642)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

#13716117
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (31585)

On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

#13178719
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10167) - you deserved it (46829)

On 09/24/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

#19164325
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10164) - you deserved it (24277)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (31274)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

#4173931
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10159) - you deserved it (44132)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10159) - you deserved it (34480)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States



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