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Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20231) - you deserved it (12750)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20231) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

#10939026
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20229) - you deserved it (39505)

On 06/03/2010 at 4:54am - intimacy - by elevenharries (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (191516)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (3427)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

#19877296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (7368)

On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (74616)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

#6001127
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (44728)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20211) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (34473)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (7398)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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