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Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9654) - you deserved it (18084)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

#16650975
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9652) - you deserved it (48980)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML

#19534101
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (18645)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:04pm - misc - by AndyAnonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (26456)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (94929)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (25625)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9646) - you deserved it (51195)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9646) - you deserved it (37818)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

#6933197
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9641) - you deserved it (45119)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9635) - you deserved it (31606)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (32420)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (31704)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9629) - you deserved it (24748)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



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