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Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14986) - you deserved it (62936)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

#1408593
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (53659)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Radgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

#3369756
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14978) - you deserved it (48245)

On 06/30/2009 at 3:55pm - love - by BrokeInLove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

#19764261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14975) - you deserved it (9067)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

#5932457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14971) - you deserved it (6255)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14970) - you deserved it (72226)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

#1409233
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14968) - you deserved it (48377)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14967) - you deserved it (135223)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14961) - you deserved it (86058)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14961) - you deserved it (47826)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14960) - you deserved it (27647)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14959) - you deserved it (48622)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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