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Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (2920)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

#19190899
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Vandrefalk - Norway

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (69741)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

#19708636
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (2078)

On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (5759)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (145)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (5952)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (4645)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (45989)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (2097)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (2151)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)



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