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Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

#19673305
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (1462)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (4935)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

#8518590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (4205)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

#19598076
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (1828)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

#20006687
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (7136)

On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21110) - you deserved it (2104)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

#19617279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21110) - you deserved it (2958)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (2051)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

#19426271
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/07/2012 at 10:10pm - misc - by Millian2 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21107) - you deserved it (6197)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (5834)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

#8639311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by jacquelle - United States (Tennessee)



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