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Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (7901)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (49315)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (2805)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (58071)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (38987)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (1618)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (1608)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

#21441553
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (2272)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm - kids - by Andrew - United States (New Jersey)



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