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Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (70241)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (6078)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2786)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

#21506706
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (2021)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

#21458278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (1907)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm - kids - by ambiiii - United States (Texas)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (54422)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (60181)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (3419)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

#19874685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/01/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by rinala -

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (1869)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States



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