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Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (110764)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

#7070203
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (23988)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

#15647734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (49040)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got half way to the airport and realized I forgot my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then my pocket vibrated. FML

#7158067
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8031) - you deserved it (32454)

On 01/05/2010 at 1:40am - misc - by Allen - France

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8027) - you deserved it (18263)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8027) - you deserved it (108368)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8027) - you deserved it (24920)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

#18500551
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you deserved it (31037)

On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8013) - you deserved it (27718)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

#17628239
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8013) - you deserved it (18826)

On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (35632)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

#19418813
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (30852)

On 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by Sash (woman) - United Kingdom



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