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Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

by notgivingup / 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML

by Thatguynoonelikes / 09/29/2015 at 9:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

by disgusted / 12/13/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 9:45am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove to my college campus for my 8 a.m. class, parked, walked the mile and a half to my classroom, just to find out class had been cancelled. The prof didn't send an email because she couldn't remember her password. I paid $1200 to be taught by this woman, who has a doctorate. FML

by crb25453 / 10/15/2015 at 1:07am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love

Today, my mother-in-law got her driver's license, despite being prone to fainting, seizures, and being on so much medication that she sometimes forgets where she is. She now wants to drive us to all our family functions, and my father-in-law won't object because he doesn't want to damage her self-esteem. FML

by PhoenixChick / 09/08/2015 at 2:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my stepdad's funeral. He was the most important person in my life, but it didn't stop my stepsister angrily saying, "Why are you crying? He wasn't even your real dad." FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 10:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

by mac_miller55 / 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work