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Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8317) - you deserved it (43085)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

#7252509
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (22249)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to do something fun and spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabled toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilets were conveniently being cleaned at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabled one. Walk of shame. FML

#10279492
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (37865)

On 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by sam (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

#16251176
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (65815)

On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -

Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML

#20002439
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8313) - you deserved it (28838)

On 08/04/2012 at 4:05pm - love - by nikki - Greece (Kikladhes)

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

#13674656
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8310) - you deserved it (19166)

On 11/01/2010 at 12:43pm - work - by wtf_fml_0609 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

#17233163
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8310) - you deserved it (68580)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

#7606758
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8308) - you deserved it (21685)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

#17108827
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8304) - you deserved it (51632)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm - misc - by Stephanie - United States (California)

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

#2490084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (46773)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

#5543214
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (63749)

On 09/29/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

#14502012
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8295) - you deserved it (25618)

On 01/07/2011 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

#6915702
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (27423)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by FlGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)



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