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Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

#11629383
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (42975)

On 07/03/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

#19827444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (3679)

On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (25305)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML

#3944960
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (43320)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I left with referrals to both a dermatologist and a mental health professional. FML

#19986925
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (2325)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:24am - health - by lexithepirate - United States

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17888) - you deserved it (4030)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML

#76
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (82986)

On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

#7234085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (4269)

On 01/09/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by bjfail (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (75175)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

#19953663
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (8541)

On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17878) - you deserved it (68603)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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