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Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (24993)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I mentioned to my girlfriend that I'd sent in a job application after she went home. In front of her parents. Who thought she'd stayed the night at a friend's place. FML

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (51814)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (41900)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (3095)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (6907)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2539)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

#5369463
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (6503)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:17am - intimacy - by seminole711 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (5025)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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