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Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
277 comments

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

#14459175
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (5634)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:30am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (13186)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (41602)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

#19218183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (5838)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over with a broken engraved bracelet that I paid 50 dollars for. I was so angry but when I stated "I am going to call them and get a new one!" my boyfriend said back to me "No it's okay, I didn't really like it anyways." It was for our 2 year anniversary. FML

#13837334
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (14355)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

#19471721
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (4226)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:55am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (7388)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (2990)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (8457)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (6390)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML

#19238495
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19899) - you deserved it (12750)

On 03/08/2012 at 9:30am - love - by hairy (woman) - Serbia



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