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Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13718) - you deserved it (31145)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13718) - you deserved it (33824)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13713) - you deserved it (25513)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (29273)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (22821)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, it was pouring rain outside, I had 2 textbooks in my hands. I took a shortcut, and instead of running around the small pole that directed the line at the cafe, I decided to jump over it. In front of a group of guys, my foot got caught and I face planted with my books flying everywhere. FML

#1134670
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13695) - you deserved it (43074)

On 04/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13693) - you deserved it (47770)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found it under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

#16793307
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13689) - you deserved it (25721)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Morgan - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (28700)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (47950)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13671) - you deserved it (50088)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I did a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months work file helped make the best sausages I've ever done. FML

#164
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (25003)

On 10/30/2008 at 10:51am - work - by Sam - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (32248)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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