Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

#19714803
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:24am - love - by Silent (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

#21494871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (4811)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML

#21489469
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (4676)

On 11/07/2015 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

#18309912
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by whyyy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML

#21510144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (1774)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:28am - work - by fucking fuck off (man) - United States

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (3026)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (3452)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (44996)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

#21506859
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: