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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15928) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15922) - you deserved it (35029)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I baby sat a four-year old kid, because his parents went partying. Once in bed, he yells "I want to go party!!". After 3 or 4 times, I told him to go to sleep. 2 hours later, wet bed. "Told you I want to go potty!!" FML

#170
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15921) - you deserved it (46249)

On 10/31/2008 at 3:06am - kids - by Tara - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15909) - you deserved it (30036)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15893) - you deserved it (30396)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

#13515175
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15891) - you deserved it (34222)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by failed_catgirl (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML

#19694480
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15880) - you deserved it (2715)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:17pm - health - by Phil (man) - Canada

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (7930)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

#5851681
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15863) - you deserved it (3623)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by DamnThatsHarsh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15858) - you deserved it (21218)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

#2143757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15845) - you deserved it (54393)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15843) - you deserved it (32808)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15841) - you deserved it (3426)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States



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