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Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

by Username / 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years moved in with two other women. He's spent the past 2 years telling me he can't afford to move out of his parent's house. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2015 at 11:08am / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

by HK / 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 2:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

by healey16 / 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:19am / United Kingdom (Barnsley) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

by sad face / 11/24/2012 at 6:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

by OMFG I LOVE MLP / 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Love

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

by Anna / 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her Twitter account to complain about me. FML

by sparkle / 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

by robbyrabbit / 11/11/2010 at 2:41am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.