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Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (2421)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (1731)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

#21314908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (39172)

On 12/10/2014 at 7:59am - love - by mastel07 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17307) - you deserved it (12926)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML

#2968548
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17301) - you deserved it (44356)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17300) - you deserved it (31298)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (189644)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (40586)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17297) - you deserved it (113514)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17297) - you deserved it (54989)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (74982)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17295) - you deserved it (4622)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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