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Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 2:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

by ManinBlack / 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought my wife and I would reconcile after being separated for eight months. We ended up sleeping together after a dinner date, but she told told me afterwards that she still wanted a divorce. FML

by anon / 09/27/2015 at 11:27pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

by sharee / 12/19/2015 at 3:51pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

by CaptainSosuke / 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

by Username / 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm / United States / Work

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

by jetlagged / 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Transportation

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

by sirensaresexy / 07/24/2012 at 9:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

by brokenarm / 03/03/2010 at 11:46am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Health

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

by eventer1919 / 08/03/2015 at 10:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

by Abused / 10/13/2010 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her Twitter account to complain about me. FML

by sparkle / 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous