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Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (2422)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (71392)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

#8542819
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21396) - you deserved it (5577)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:31am - love - by nomoresbfun (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (2798)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (1931)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (1620)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

#9160182
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21386) - you deserved it (8503)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:26pm - health - by Betty (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (7161)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21382) - you deserved it (2819)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)



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