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Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10210) - you deserved it (24327)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

#5270007
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (46185)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by publicenemy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (34533)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

#14480016
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (48662)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

#15647820
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10201) - you deserved it (38846)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10201) - you deserved it (29054)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

#1615706
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10199) - you deserved it (44552)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10198) - you deserved it (71969)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (36816)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

#19301320
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10193) - you deserved it (16244)

On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (38229)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

#888437
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10179) - you deserved it (64204)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10178) - you deserved it (43723)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus



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