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Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

#18271050
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (19024)

On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

#10959899
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (29650)

On 06/04/2010 at 1:36am - work - by firecrotch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML

#8859695
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10230) - you deserved it (34930)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - love - by mariah_1_11 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

#2543138
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10229) - you deserved it (38650)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10229) - you deserved it (31659)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10225) - you deserved it (25950)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10224) - you deserved it (45046)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10222) - you deserved it (46375)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

#5066091
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10220) - you deserved it (34402)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:02pm - misc - by bubbles (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10218) - you deserved it (28987)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you deserved it (34031)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

#15649522
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (28851)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States



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