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Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

#8287074
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8518) - you deserved it (26526)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

#88598
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (48165)

On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8515) - you deserved it (65379)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

#25578
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (30311)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by red button - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

#7273093
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (47738)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:23am - health - by alexbobalex (woman) - Aland Islands

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8509) - you deserved it (28482)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (30426)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8506) - you deserved it (24711)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I was doing my paper round. I got to the last house and thought I had done everything right. I checked my list of houses, and I had done every single one wrong. I went and got all the papers back and delivered them again. That was when I realised I did them right in the first place. FML

#7231970
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8501) - you deserved it (26910)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:14am - work - by Harry (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8501) - you deserved it (35271)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8499) - you deserved it (23332)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8500) - you deserved it (16750)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (34821)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)



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