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Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (4974)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (2248)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (3187)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (38062)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (2665)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (4684)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (6118)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

#19369519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

#21460828
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22374) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/26/2015 at 3:45am - love - by Anonymous - India (West Bengal)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (51812)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (9895)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version



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