Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8429) - you deserved it (43047)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (41642)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML

#16092299
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (23265)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

#18939458
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (23938)

On 01/29/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

#14189532
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (19861)

On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (37064)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

#14947981
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8416) - you deserved it (22571)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:01am - misc - by notsolucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

#7146444
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (23193)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:20pm - money - by WorkSexMonkey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

#15025129
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (37758)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:33am - work - by Username -

Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML

#19923878
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8410) - you deserved it (25464)

On 07/11/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by almost jobless - United States

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

#3389802
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (67386)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

#677
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8407) - you deserved it (27507)

On 01/02/2009 at 6:09am - love - by joe - France (Auvergne)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8403) - you deserved it (26757)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: