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Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (59040)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (41595)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

#7258041
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (38463)

On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (30611)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11182) - you deserved it (49687)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11182) - you deserved it (25296)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (23993)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

#5270007
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (48501)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by publicenemy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11182) - you deserved it (32975)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

#5306318
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11180) - you deserved it (48495)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stood up by a blind date. After calling and texting her about being a horrible person, she called me from the hospital. She was in a car accident. FML

#16439169
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11177) - you deserved it (54762)

On 05/31/2011 at 6:35pm - love - by bfall74 - Canada

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

#2763272
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11176) - you deserved it (55488)

On 06/10/2009 at 12:36am - animals - by FMLTIMESTWO (woman) - United States (New York)



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