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Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

by Anonyme / 02/12/2014 at 4:47am / Work

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 10:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

by sparkle / 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

by robbyrabbit / 11/11/2010 at 2:41am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

by dammed / 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

by ilovecharliesheen / 03/17/2015 at 3:14am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2015 at 1:13am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

by ManinBlack / 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

by HK / 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

by clumsyandhungry / 09/15/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Work