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Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12192) - you deserved it (30387)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12192) - you deserved it (24485)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

#16657137
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12190) - you deserved it (31613)

On 06/14/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12189) - you deserved it (64214)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (45710)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

#5441103
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12183) - you deserved it (27394)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12181) - you deserved it (17957)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

#17938205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (23685)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12179) - you deserved it (19259)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (28341)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
501 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you deserved it (218131)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12148) - you deserved it (48291)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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