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Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10311) - you deserved it (22739)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I'm on holiday, but my alarm clock isn't. It rang at 6 o'clock. FML

#213
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (39737)

On 11/05/2008 at 2:35am - misc - by Fsd - France (Franche-Comte)

Today, there was a big cake at the office. I thought it was funny to pretend to push the cute girl in the office into it. She laughed, but then lost her balance and fell forward. Everyone saw. Turns out she’s allergic to coconut, even just the shavings on a cake, and had to go to the hospital. FML

#5548014
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (38129)

On 09/29/2009 at 2:40pm - work - by cakekiller (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (58992)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10299) - you deserved it (71692)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10299) - you deserved it (35208)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (37172)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (35903)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

#14103046
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (27616)

On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10287) - you deserved it (24379)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (70798)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

#13507844
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (36630)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10283) - you deserved it (35841)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)



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