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Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11901) - you deserved it (45838)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11902) - you deserved it (31021)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11896) - you deserved it (36860)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

#538
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (20810)

On 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm - misc - by kisyfrot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (35838)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my telephone line was hit by lightning. I discovered that not only will lightning fry a router, it will also destroy any PCs connected to that router via network cables. I also discovered that a $10 phone line surge protector would have saved nearly $3,000 worth of PC equipment. FML

#6021416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (33167)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by MotherNatureMustDie (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11885) - you deserved it (100178)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11885) - you deserved it (35038)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11883) - you deserved it (56221)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

#17492209
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11882) - you deserved it (31439)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm - health - by Out of Shape (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11881) - you deserved it (29812)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11880) - you deserved it (33097)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11879) - you deserved it (27996)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)



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