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Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (18020)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (42768)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (69168)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

#13953523
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (1981)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (2701)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (62924)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (3590)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (30105)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (8156)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (4118)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria



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