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Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (8169)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18766) - you deserved it (5945)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (34576)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (88318)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (7060)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (45739)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (42110)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

#768625
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (55541)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by nokeys (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (3073)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML

#19835605
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18735) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Gremlin (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

#17968240
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (12080)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Nickname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18731) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)



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