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Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (44958)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

#14468099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8836) - you deserved it (21167)

On 01/04/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by theatreluver (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

#16635570
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8836) - you deserved it (37314)

On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8831) - you deserved it (47938)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (39865)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (30374)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (29137)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

#296408
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (43741)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (29412)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (43851)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I joined a small disaster relief group. I remarked to the big, long-haired person beside me that it was surprising that I was the only female in the group. I got a cold stare. Later I asked another volunteer about that person. He answered, "Oh, her? She's my sister." FML

#5566724
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8818) - you deserved it (31852)

On 09/30/2009 at 3:30pm - work - by Blurry (woman) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing the air guitar and head banging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

#15991972
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8818) - you deserved it (30274)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:52pm - health - by Jordan - United States

Today, there was a big snow storm and I wanted to help shovel, so I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 winter coats, 2 pairs of gloves, a hat and a scarf. Once outside, I was told to go back inside because the job was done. FML

#18852124
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (25727)

On 01/19/2012 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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