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Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML

#6604367
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (1996)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (39710)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21189) - you deserved it (2874)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (4267)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (59255)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (1783)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (3355)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (1773)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (1923)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21181) - you deserved it (13943)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (2146)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (5265)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)



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