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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (1931)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (2441)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (2632)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (5184)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (2800)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

#21460116
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (1333)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML

#19906711
115 comments

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (7885)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (38355)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

#6903052
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (2287)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22717) - you deserved it (3800)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22717) - you deserved it (3369)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -



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