Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

#19597965
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (4944)

On 05/09/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by chieftain (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18166) - you deserved it (36593)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (44290)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (12854)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (4017)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

#2069131
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18153) - you deserved it (48229)

On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (63608)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (1824)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (26652)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

#18785032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18145) - you deserved it (9753)

On 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (27680)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

#1077
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (2205)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: