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Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

#4994251
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you deserved it (7712)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (8600)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18891) - you deserved it (51209)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

#316
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18885) - you deserved it (9717)

On 11/17/2008 at 12:04am - work - by Tomtom - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18883) - you deserved it (4127)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (6899)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (36745)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (69027)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (42022)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (10275)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

#7534746
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (6677)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by ashley_skillz06 - Sent from mobile version



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