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Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

#19435990
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17053) - you deserved it (8270)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

#6051108
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (4429)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by crazygirl (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17044) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (60681)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17033) - you deserved it (28581)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (44371)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

#19493868
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (4033)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17024) - you deserved it (2282)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

#2291155
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17023) - you deserved it (41727)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

#2237527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (52532)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped... right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML

#7225324
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (5427)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:04pm - misc - by dancer4life (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (32733)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (1690)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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