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Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (2994)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (1902)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

#21374433
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22688) - you deserved it (15322)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:52pm - misc - by nomorealcoholeva - Norway (Nordland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (11080)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

#121719
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (53217)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (3362)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (12608)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

#6005073
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (30425)

On 10/26/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

#13598783
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (2090)

On 10/26/2010 at 2:35am - work - by robthebuilder (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (2540)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

#19838088
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (4995)

On 06/24/2012 at 6:57am - misc - by thankspal (woman) - United States



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