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Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (25324)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (77452)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (41973)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14290) - you deserved it (51206)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (52122)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (84007)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (29679)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14279) - you deserved it (39490)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

#1479670
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (49649)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

#1439
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14270) - you deserved it (4378)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by BobbyMalone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you deserved it (43778)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14260) - you deserved it (51102)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML

#19013496
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14259) - you deserved it (37081)

On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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