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Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML

#15111306
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (28735)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:27am - money - by naughtytwinsisters (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

#19669022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (6772)

On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (31369)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16250) - you deserved it (172059)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

#14
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16243) - you deserved it (68695)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16235) - you deserved it (34659)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16231) - you deserved it (47104)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

#18881874
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16224) - you deserved it (27996)

On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

#15576285
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (25487)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (44911)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16215) - you deserved it (59235)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16214) - you deserved it (62872)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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