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Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML

#18043199
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9101) - you deserved it (28063)

On 10/22/2011 at 12:55am - work - by bob - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

#7258041
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9099) - you deserved it (28746)

On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

#2973939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9096) - you deserved it (57743)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9096) - you deserved it (53631)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9096) - you deserved it (34509)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9096) - you deserved it (62108)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

#2111362
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9091) - you deserved it (53020)

On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss friend requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

#15796408
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9089) - you deserved it (43654)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm - work - by asdfjkl (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9087) - you deserved it (25159)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9080) - you deserved it (32131)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML

#18974554
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9080) - you deserved it (37772)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:10am - health - by Kreen - China

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9079) - you deserved it (71637)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML

#5913009
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9076) - you deserved it (33628)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)



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