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Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9189) - you deserved it (35343)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (17442)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (116812)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (19860)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9179) - you deserved it (35095)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

#3649387
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9179) - you deserved it (34523)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by jennyygrace - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML

#17703171
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (17135)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9174) - you deserved it (29185)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML

#3102076
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9172) - you deserved it (56282)

On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (28887)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

#13306628
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (21908)

On 10/03/2010 at 6:24pm - animals - by baconman86 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML

#8756246
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (20696)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by whywilson.. (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9164) - you deserved it (28762)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States



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