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Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

#13632865
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (7263)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:17pm - misc - by mommysgirlapparently (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML

#14543441
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22645) - you deserved it (1789)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by raiyne -

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (38086)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (5502)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (2963)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (62815)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (44788)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, to settle a bet with a friend, I took an online IQ test twice. The first time, I chose answers at random without reading the questions. The second time, I took it for real. I got a higher score from the random selections than from my serious attempt. FML

#21453729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (5544)

On 08/09/2015 at 1:46am - misc - by shuahwan (man) - New Zealand

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (3491)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (7946)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

#19276997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (3587)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (1928)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22636) - you deserved it (3043)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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