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Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16540) - you deserved it (5004)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

#8910631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (5493)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (109471)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (6450)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (9120)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16523) - you deserved it (3199)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16521) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16518) - you deserved it (38944)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

#19588733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16518) - you deserved it (3654)

On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (41675) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

#7004300
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

#6991981
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (5056)

On 12/28/2009 at 11:58am - intimacy - by disapointed girl - United States (New York)



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