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Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18374) - you deserved it (37152)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (1851)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (12755)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

#2715
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (4604)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (2154)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (50547)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18362) - you deserved it (5809)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (1448)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18358) - you deserved it (2706)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (1950)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18358) - you deserved it (191272)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (1938)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18350) - you deserved it (4852)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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