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Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

#3089215
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (31805)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by carpetoops (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

#5921737
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (3729)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by badnewsbears (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (16327)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (4642)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (2814)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

#19766054
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (2756)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Danielle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (10087)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (3164)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland



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