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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

#967
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (7661)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by jibjab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

#16284228
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (30664)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13574) - you deserved it (100891)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13570) - you deserved it (44645)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

#19237669
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13564) - you deserved it (16302)

On 03/08/2012 at 3:06am - work - by stuckonrepeat (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13559) - you deserved it (68830)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13558) - you deserved it (35504)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (39734)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML

#18763493
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (18220)

On 01/10/2012 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13553) - you deserved it (69285)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

#4577302
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13541) - you deserved it (57361)

On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

#4854572
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13540) - you deserved it (51274)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by p-man - United States

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

#19931628
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13539) - you deserved it (32493)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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