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Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

#13458555
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (4193)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (10096)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

#232314
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (69395)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:35am - intimacy - by You Wish (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (2664)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (3034)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML

#18087058
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (2606)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (4194)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (1865)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the father of my unborn child got laid off. Without a work visa, he may have to leave the country before this baby even arrives. FML

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (4682)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (2619)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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