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Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (1712)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (26836)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (53062)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

#20045097
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (8094)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm - misc - by arh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20186) - you deserved it (3161)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

#20011258
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (1647)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (2421)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

#14365818
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (4812)

On 12/28/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (6067)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (8323)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (2136)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (6103)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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