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Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

#2949089
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9827) - you deserved it (31755)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (27066)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9824) - you deserved it (36949)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (18911)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9812) - you deserved it (66859)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9812) - you deserved it (20472)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9810) - you deserved it (37508)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

#5661357
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (26274)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9806) - you deserved it (23297)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9806) - you deserved it (52111)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9804) - you deserved it (25953)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9802) - you deserved it (18175)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (22263)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)



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