Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

#19661227
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (5698)

On 05/22/2012 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous - Philippines

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (5759)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (67320)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (51025)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

#1108
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (3746)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16528) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (41443)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (109309)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (63116)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

#2350
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16519) - you deserved it (1549)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by sleepy125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (6447)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: