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Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

by shia / 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

by anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML

by neveragain89 / 01/05/2012 at 7:37pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

by me_the_maniak / 01/12/2012 at 5:14am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my new job. Not even 2 hours in did some old man ask me where I live, what's my number, and if I was interested in being with him and his friends. This guy is at least over 50 and works with me. I left my old job because some old men kept asking the same things. FML

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

by stutterernotschizophrenic / 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

by cocoapuffs4life / 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2010 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

by HansonLUVR / 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the Cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 9:58pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

by friend / 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Kids