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Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

#21479175
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (1900)

On 10/12/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by laurenmichela (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (57577)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (6846)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (4404)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2974)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

#8279191
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (14933)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by tayluh26 - United States (California)

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (5902)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (3834)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some wannabe molester actually used the "Do you know who my dad is?!" line on me as I threw him out of a club. Turns out his dad is my boss's brother. I'm now searching for a new job. FML

#21500663
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (1819)

On 12/06/2015 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (3491)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

#21476862
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (1936)

On 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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