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Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (3589)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

#8106835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (4634)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19010) - you deserved it (3406)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19007) - you deserved it (5605)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19007) - you deserved it (1823)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (10064)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (32795)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (3679)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (111187)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (41685)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (30828)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

#13655467
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (24499)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm - love - by yummy(: - United States (Tennessee)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18989) - you deserved it (71407)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)



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