Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

#18071485
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (13836)

On 10/25/2011 at 11:00am - health - by Michael - Australia

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

#19720513
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22442) - you deserved it (2099)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (17953)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

#8673018
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (15007)

On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3111)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

#19725175
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (4345)

On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (39588)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (5812)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

#19895787
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (9540)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (67484)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (16885)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (2615)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: