Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML

#21290636
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (24848)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:38pm - work - by demotivator (woman) - Romania (Timis)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (33168)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

#19334312
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:10pm - health - by Zak (man) - United States

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (43211)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (3735)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

#17958269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (2141)

On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (1828)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (3735)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

#19237523
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (6303)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: