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Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

by cocoapuffs4life / 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 9:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

by organizse / 06/20/2015 at 10:03am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an 8-month wait, I had my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

by Mush / 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

by me_the_maniak / 01/12/2012 at 5:14am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

by elizio / 08/04/2015 at 7:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

by RhuLynette / 08/31/2011 at 2:34am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2010 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

by jdch_99 / 11/03/2012 at 1:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

by SakuraBreeze / 09/26/2011 at 1:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

by anonymous-canada / 12/07/2010 at 12:28am / Work