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Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (18911)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9811) - you deserved it (20472)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9812) - you deserved it (66852)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (37506)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9805) - you deserved it (23295)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9805) - you deserved it (52107)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

#5661357
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9804) - you deserved it (26266)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9802) - you deserved it (25952)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (18169)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (22260)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we had a NAT for our preparation for college. I did quite well and knew most of the answers. When I turned mine in, I realised I forgot to write my name. The proctor doesn't allow giving back test papers after it is turned in. And no, I can't retake it. FML

#7929962
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (24028)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:35am - misc - by stupidupid (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9793) - you deserved it (28335)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9792) - you deserved it (25149)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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