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Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (12435)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (88973)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (2545)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (17469)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (5863)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (2411)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (12266)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

#20114046
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (1427)

On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (3181)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (2206)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States



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