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Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

#21455499
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (1638)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:58am - work - by SteamLass765 (woman) -

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

#21165218
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (41929)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:01pm - health - by shartface12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25041) - you deserved it (9797)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25041) - you deserved it (7306)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (2663)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25041) - you deserved it (6121)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

#21474290
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (32695)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (8054)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (2732)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (20109)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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