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Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17507) - you deserved it (38570)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (43019)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (25884)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (1573)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

#21069793
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (35896)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm - health - by owmyfoot - United States (California)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (46148)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that being arrested isn't something a decent person should have on their bucket list. I had to explain this while bailing her out of jail. FML

#20002792
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (2052)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (8085)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

#19016688
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17493) - you deserved it (6155)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:04am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

#3279854
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (57510)

On 06/27/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by jake (man) - Denmark (Frederiksborg)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (61373)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (32809)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

#488
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17480) - you deserved it (4235)

On 12/10/2008 at 6:09am - money - by dmlk - Sent from mobile version



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