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Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14872) - you deserved it (41176)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14868) - you deserved it (64519)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14867) - you deserved it (27231)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

#2158
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14869) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:45am - work - by DarkPain - United States (California)

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

#9069582
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14865) - you deserved it (27922)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (39862)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

#1415940
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14856) - you deserved it (81440)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:53am - love - by H-B (man) - United States

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

#19764261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (9044)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14850) - you deserved it (15110)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14845) - you deserved it (108097)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (99832)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (56125)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14826) - you deserved it (237830)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)



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