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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

#12023647
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14684) - you deserved it (27065)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Syrinth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML

#198130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14683) - you deserved it (63286)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

#998
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14681) - you deserved it (5465)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by ana9 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14681) - you deserved it (61818)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

#45910
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14679) - you deserved it (79106)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived right on time for my train. Only problem, it was the wrong station. FML

#477
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (7166)

On 12/09/2008 at 7:54am - misc - by Idi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14666) - you deserved it (124771)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I grinned for five minutes straight because my friends told me it would put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. It gave me a migraine. FML

#17122126
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (23387)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by so much for a good day - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

#43148
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (32917)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Biggest Jerk (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

#20093112
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (15164)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by mustachioed (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

#1489394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14656) - you deserved it (83091)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

#13199866
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14653) - you deserved it (21587)

On 09/25/2010 at 8:15pm - misc - by educatttiiioonnn (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (46650)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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