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Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13743) - you deserved it (49472)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML

#19854055
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13742) - you deserved it (18487)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:29am - health - by purpleskylight - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML

#6706236
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13741) - you deserved it (21081)

On 12/11/2009 at 6:11am - misc - by LostFocus - United States (California)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13735) - you deserved it (36930)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

#4402350
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13731) - you deserved it (50087)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

#16117533
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (32940)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:24pm - work - by scruffy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you deserved it (69042)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13720) - you deserved it (42689)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13716) - you deserved it (24452)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

#5680607
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (60540)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

#13701417
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (27093)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13704) - you deserved it (40386)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13701) - you deserved it (37641)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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