Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15098) - you deserved it (34941)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15094) - you deserved it (31256)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

#11875155
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15093) - you deserved it (23954)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm - misc - by rofld (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

#19129747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15092) - you deserved it (11696)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:49am - work - by annoym - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

#3582524
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15089) - you deserved it (34684)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:52pm - work - by pharmn00b (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

#18397332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15087) - you deserved it (23764)

On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15086) - you deserved it (10761)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML

#6336608
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15084) - you deserved it (23660)

On 11/17/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by HunniBeeHuni (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML

#15935216
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (35760)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (59507)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

#1680929
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15078) - you deserved it (60783)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

#2883400
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15073) - you deserved it (46207)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

#18790783
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15071) - you deserved it (25285)

On 01/12/2012 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: