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Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17553) - you deserved it (27896)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

#20035907
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17553) - you deserved it (1472)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17552) - you deserved it (6601)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (62745)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (59137)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17539) - you deserved it (42406)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

#4203827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (58714)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by homewrecker (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made my brother go to the grocery store to get some frozen pizzas. Ten minutes after he left, the power cut out. Still no power. Still hungry. FML

#19495947
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (3345)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by noooo!!! - United States

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

#1077
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

#2268591
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (48721)

On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

#4226426
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (52691)

On 08/02/2009 at 7:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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