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Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (7416)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

#8518590
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (3942)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19098) - you deserved it (2385)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19098) - you deserved it (43562)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19096) - you deserved it (5255)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

#19219281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:28am - misc - by DamnDogs (woman) - Canada

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#3620845
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (54613)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - kids - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (9540)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (39642)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

#1197
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (3914)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:36am - love - by liltravol23 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (1303)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19085) - you deserved it (3879)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19084) - you deserved it (3421)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)



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