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Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

#16169430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14110) - you deserved it (33125)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Plasticface (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (49871)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14094) - you deserved it (42809)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

#18823923
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (33059)

On 01/16/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

#4442846
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14083) - you deserved it (41420)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (28435)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML

#19736347
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14079) - you deserved it (31013)

On 06/05/2012 at 12:27am - love - by Josie - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14078) - you deserved it (23775)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML

#1015
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14079) - you deserved it (8415)

On 01/12/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by carla - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (34878)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (39319)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14067) - you deserved it (39107)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)



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