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Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (5917)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (5108)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

#21456680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (1576)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (2615)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (8396)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (3186)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (3508)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (2136)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (7531)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23496) - you deserved it (4085)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

#20006687
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (7618)

On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia



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