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The all-time greatest FMLs

Doghouse

By Krissi - 21/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 470

Moral of the story: don't be a weirdo

By Megan - 29/03/2022 02:00 - Czech Republic

Today, I ran into an old coworker. Several years ago, he had a creepy, obsessive crush on me. Now, he's lost over a hundred pounds, makes over twice as much as me, and isn't a complete weirdo anymore. I asked him if he wanted to get a drink sometime and 'catch up'. "Nah, I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 3 351

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 10:00 - United States - East Islip

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 792

Scarfing it down

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 391

Gone Too Far

By FML Approved - 05/10/2017 03:00

Shake it off, girl! You're doing great!

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 572

Vegan Love

By FML Videos - 01/09/2018 17:59 - United States - New York

This is the night, it's a beautiful night, and we call it bella notte...

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 101

Fishing For Love

By FML Videos - 14/10/2018 00:00

Dating is hard.

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 95

No comprendo

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 971

Don't harsh our buzz, filthy human

By Ubehage - 06/01/2023 03:00 - Denmark

Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 1 078

Time to tap out

By Staying single - 25/06/2023 13:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 1 110

Words is hard

By kate - 26/10/2021 02:00

Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 1 609

Colloquialism

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that when an Australian guy starts working in your office and says, “Nice thongs”, he isn’t talking about your underwear, he means the bright sunflower sandals on your feet. I may have overreacted at what I thought was blatant sexual harassment, and am now on unpaid suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 1 695

Zing!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 14:00

Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 2 052

Take your time

By Kitty - 08/08/2021 09:59 - United States - Johnston

Today, thinking I could carry it all, I stubbornly brought a load of food in with both hands. The glass jar of nacho cheese smashed on my radiator, and I had to use a toothbrush to clean between the cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 837

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 467

Storage wars

By ADayAtATime - 20/04/2024 06:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 82

Everyone does

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 02:00

Today, I thought a spider had fallen on me, so I wounded up accidentally punching myself. Twice. I hate nose bleeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 667

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 175

Support coming your way

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 11:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, and everyday for the past year and a half, I've felt miserable. I took the decision to leave, not knowing that it would be hell. Now I'm stuck thinking it's good for my future, and too scared to leave. I hate it and hate everything and everyone in this place. I want to leave and I need the courage. The future terrifies me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 187

Annoyed

By HateCelebz - 29/09/2023 20:00

Today, I was made to do checkout training at the supermarket I work in. My third customer spent £90 on food, and whilst I was serving her, she talked about her 6 kids and her ex. Only four hours of this shit to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 593

Bumbling

By Jane - 19/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume. I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for drawing stick figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 224

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 02:00

Today, I got up early because I had a bunch of work to do. It's now 11:50 p.m and I still haven't managed to get anything done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 597

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 913

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 1 037

Come clean

By Anonymous - 20/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, It's been a week since I asked out the girl I like. We knew each other as kids, and reconnected. We get along perfectly, understand each other's humor, and have similar hobbies, as well as having been on a few dates. She said we can only be friends. She won't stop texting me "What's wrong?" asking to hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 439

Punch the information in

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 10:00

Today, I found my daughter punching her brother repeatedly. Apparently, he'd put the wrong fuel in her van so after 20 years of him being a moron, she decided to beat the stupid out of him. Thing is it’s worked; he’s too bruised and scared of her to do anything, period, just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 694

Life comes at you fast

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 00:02

Today, I watched a video my ex-girlfriend posted. It was a cute little video of her three children playing at a park. She’s happily married. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a girlfriend since we broke up… 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 614

Bad joke, dude

By Peterrulesall - 25/09/2020 17:01 - United States

Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the 2-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 2 662

Sorry Babe

By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Don't hate me please!

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 83

PSA: Don't be this guy

By Ih8ungratefulb - 23/04/2023 00:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the love of my life. She laughed and said, “Nah, you’re like a brother to me, I can’t see you that way.” This after I drained my wallet for her birthday, brought her flowers and comforted her when her dog passed away, and fixed her car every time it broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 1 678

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The Top

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 71

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 4 313

Today, I'm completely in love with my best friend, who I've known for over 10 years. I can't get him out of my head. Too bad he's married, with 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 443

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move out. Excited, thinking he wanted us to move out from his mom's house, I said, "Yeah! Just you and me?" to which he smirked and replied, "No, just you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 400

You deserved it 5 182

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 2 799

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 660

You deserved it 6 541

Today, in a market, an old lady stood beside me for a few moments, not saying a word, before turning to me and screaming that I'd taken the money out of her purse. Security was called and I was given the ultimatum to either go to jail or give her the money back. Now I have no food for next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 117