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Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (5181)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (56752)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17966) - you deserved it (1627)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (1722)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (131808)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17960) - you deserved it (39193)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (7851)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (1726)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

#13429842
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (4886)

On 10/13/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by grow_fasterrr - (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

#19596510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (4862)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

#6191622
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (2041)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by iMarriedmymother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (35601)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17940) - you deserved it (39676)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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