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Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (1680)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (3367)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (44212)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (3985)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (7949)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (3177)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

#21425869
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (2289)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by queenbee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my pop-tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

#21369280
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (18474)

On 03/06/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by f*ck (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

#4967264
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (35397)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:00am - animals - by polish_chik - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (6130)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (31378)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore



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