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Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (25662)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML

#2300896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16665) - you deserved it (42342)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:10am - love - by Socklessandsmelly (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

#20127529
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (1373)

On 10/21/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by smdh - United States

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

#949
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16661) - you deserved it (6620)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:52pm - work - by Carrie - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16661) - you deserved it (35447)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16659) - you deserved it (27346)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

#915602
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16642) - you deserved it (51203)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16640) - you deserved it (29769)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (23676)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (12271)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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