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Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18774) - you deserved it (35570)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (32923)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

#19741158
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (11059)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm - work - by Mark - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (8578)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18758) - you deserved it (100677)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (32124)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (1970)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18754) - you deserved it (4289)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (77048)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (10238)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2901)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18743) - you deserved it (6667)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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