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Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (40470)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (1696)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (3439)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (6955)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (2453)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (5303)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (3581)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (9476)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (49328)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

#19596510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17494) - you deserved it (4791)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (62590)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (4055)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (48343)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)



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