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Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (1529)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (2939)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

#7937291
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (8165)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

#21412642
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (8395)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (4191)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (3709)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (3087)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (6615)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (5410)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

#21452790
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (5734)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada



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