Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML

by sick / 10/05/2010 at 11:20pm / United States / Work

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

by Hairytoes / 10/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm / Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia) / Work

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

by tdiz / 10/12/2010 at 12:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

by FML / 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

by cerealfail / 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I got called into work on my day off. I ended up being written up for being 15 minutes late to a shift I didn't even have. FML

by hell / 11/14/2015 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

by Noname / 11/09/2008 at 4:18am / Health

Today, I left my wallet on top of my car when I filled up with gas. I drove away and didn't realize it until I got home. I went back and found it on the side of the road. Empty of my credit cards, pictures and checks. All that was left was my driver's license. FML

by fml_seriouslyfml / 06/06/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

by Tony / 04/16/2012 at 8:57pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Love