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Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (1753)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (7517)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

#19469205
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (2099)

On 04/14/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by ProsserBabe11 (woman) - United States

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (2096)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

#8639311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (1938)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by jacquelle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (1798)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

#531
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (4273)

On 12/17/2008 at 2:15am - love - by Falouila - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (38752)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends happily announced that although they had been cut, they were still going to be playing on the school's volleyball team. The rumor going around is that everyone who tried out made the team. I never got a call back. FML

#17652760
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (2486)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (2249)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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