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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (3420)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (9993)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (4867)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (25534)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19899) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

#19761942
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (1843)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Lily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (2461)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

#8962343
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (6215)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by KJS (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (5915)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (1752)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (30214)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (8406)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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