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Friday 20 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63616) - you deserved it (9057)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60371) - you deserved it (4264)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59980) - you deserved it (4645)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59810) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59244) - you deserved it (8444)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58838) - you deserved it (4641)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57813) - you deserved it (5367)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55750) - you deserved it (7210)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55574) - you deserved it (18301)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55420) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54997) - you deserved it (5376)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54667) - you deserved it (5982)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)



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