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Wednesday 18 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64747) - you deserved it (9212)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61273) - you deserved it (4321)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61109) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60274) - you deserved it (8563)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59764) - you deserved it (4691)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58560) - you deserved it (5412)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57361) - you deserved it (5576)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56748) - you deserved it (18766)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56414) - you deserved it (4913)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55712) - you deserved it (6060)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55682) - you deserved it (4866)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55275) - you deserved it (9360)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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