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Friday 13 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63079) - you deserved it (5136)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59283) - you deserved it (5680)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56451) - you deserved it (3945)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56008) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54522) - you deserved it (5060)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53482) - you deserved it (7433)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53124) - you deserved it (8962)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52968) - you deserved it (5169)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52391) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51804) - you deserved it (6939)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51262) - you deserved it (11165)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51034) - you deserved it (5909)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)



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