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Friday 13 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63270) - you deserved it (5142)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59868) - you deserved it (5701)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58604) - you deserved it (4140)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57293) - you deserved it (4531)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56347) - you deserved it (8047)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55659) - you deserved it (5157)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54831) - you deserved it (5367)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53303) - you deserved it (8982)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52510) - you deserved it (4615)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52453) - you deserved it (11468)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52248) - you deserved it (5958)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51953) - you deserved it (6952)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)



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