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Wednesday 11 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63077) - you deserved it (5136)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59268) - you deserved it (5677)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56440) - you deserved it (3944)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54514) - you deserved it (5060)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53473) - you deserved it (7433)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53119) - you deserved it (8962)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52387) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51259) - you deserved it (11163)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5803)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50047) - you deserved it (8397)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49336) - you deserved it (8224)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (4821)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)



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