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Friday 4 April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my grlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. big fat FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70317) - you deserved it (6799)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today... mah in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63462) - you deserved it (5849)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, My Mom Brought Her Sleazy Boyfriend Home!! He Took One Look At Me, Swatted My Ass, And Said, ( It Runs In The Family!! ) My Mom Just Laughed And Winked At Me, And Mouthed, ( He's A Keeper! ) FML

#21103666
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58937) - you deserved it (4078)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend an I were snuggling an we placed our hands together, palm to palm . I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers,hich apparently surprised her cuz she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57131) - you deserved it (7369)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Taday My Naighbor Askad To Coma Ovar And Usa My Laptop. Sha Showad Up Drunk, Grabbad My Boobs, And Askad If I'd Avar Had A Lasbian Axparianca. Wa Both Hava Husbands And Kids; Tha Kids Wara In Tha Room. FML

#21109873
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52515) - you deserved it (5222)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training . I was really looking forward to seieng my family after bieng away 4 almost three months . They decided not to come to graduation cuz they didn't want to spend the money to travel here . They live 30 minutes away . FML

#21108820
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51387) - you deserved it (3396)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, I was feeling orny, so I told ma boyfriend,o lives 30 minutes away, tat ( I really needed im ). He replied, ( Did you fall in te toilet again? ) real FML

#21107872
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50648) - you deserved it (11444)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me an was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. Hishole gang had gotten mugged,hich he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (6069)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today , mah little brother was feeling lyk the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed , hit the wall , and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears , and I'm now grounded because mah parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49144) - you deserved it (3684)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Yesterday, the guy I live with demandd that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48361) - you deserved it (5464)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child!! When I called mah mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted!!

#21110479
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47438) - you deserved it (2979)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, I went to ma crus's ouse . We were watcing a movieen suddenly e started kissing me . As it deepened e began to feel around . He was groping ma armpit teole time but I was too embarrassed tat ma underarm could pass for ma boobs to redirect im . FML

#21104962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (7681)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)



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