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Friday 31 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went down on the girl of mah dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I cummed back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59142) - you deserved it (11468)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, ( Go, Nicolas! You can do it! ) He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57019) - you deserved it (6336) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

today girlfriend of tree weeks basically treatend to kill erself if I don't start tinking about aving a cild wit er soon. FML

#21049518
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56818) - you deserved it (6484)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today , mah girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55052) - you deserved it (11789)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decidd that if we both act lyk I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54732) - you deserved it (6734)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight causd by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53468) - you deserved it (4473)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my girlfriend an I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her!! I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing!! Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks an the couch cushion!! I lost my virginity to her couch!! mega FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52661) - you deserved it (18592)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today , I was aving sex wit my girlfriend , and I really startd getting into it. I said , ( Hang on tigt , tis is gonna get intense. ) Se replid , ( Doubt it ) and yawnd.

#21044260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52187) - you deserved it (16614)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, I told mah professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51048) - you deserved it (3793)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew wat it felt like to have spiders crawl out of mah vagina. mega FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50843) - you deserved it (5484)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Taday I moved back into ma dorm . My ex-girlfriend.. . and te guy se left me for.. . now coabit next door . Now I get to ear tem screwing wile I try to do ma omework . FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50362) - you deserved it (4036)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avenger with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk . When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls . FML

#21044971
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49960) - you deserved it (6256)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, an he was taking a shower . I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom . I couldn't wait 4 him to finish, looool an endd having to shit in a plastic bag . FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49940) - you deserved it (21915)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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