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Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, ( Go, Nicolas! You can do it! ) He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend an I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her!! I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing!! Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks an the couch cushion!! I lost my virginity to her couch!! mega FML
Today, I told mah professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avenger with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk . When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls . FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, an he was taking a shower . I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom . I couldn't wait 4 him to finish, looool an endd having to shit in a plastic bag . FML
Friday 27 March 2015