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Wednesday 11 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68069) - you deserved it (3710)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57047) - you deserved it (4851)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55961) - you deserved it (3452)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54924) - you deserved it (7219)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54311) - you deserved it (6505)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53805) - you deserved it (3385)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53632) - you deserved it (7402)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53332) - you deserved it (4612)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53212) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52878) - you deserved it (8357)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51538) - you deserved it (4970)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51532) - you deserved it (9980)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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