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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72809) - you deserved it (6145)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64276) - you deserved it (5964)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64022) - you deserved it (4664)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63052) - you deserved it (9261)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

#20962153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61844) - you deserved it (4445)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61178) - you deserved it (6673)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60967) - you deserved it (9199)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60151) - you deserved it (6336)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59720) - you deserved it (13544)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59150) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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