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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (3367)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (5230)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36924) - you deserved it (7288)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (3576)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML

#20976009
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36362) - you deserved it (1908)

On 11/30/2013 at 5:46pm - misc - by UglyFace (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (9052)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36202) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up and screamed: My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

#20964432
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36106) - you deserved it (4074)

On 11/20/2013 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (5260)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

#20977142
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35771) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm - animals - by HereKittyKitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

#20970198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35749) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by cb - United States (Indiana)



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