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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38770) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38747) - you deserved it (14944)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

#20963490
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/19/2013 at 4:07pm - work - by innocent72 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (2220)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

#20969114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (2323)

On 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by bsulyingb (man) - United States

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3458)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37868) - you deserved it (7085)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37774) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (10600)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

#20973740
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (3178)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (4195)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

#20976563
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (3174)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway



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