Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (41471)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40793) - you deserved it (3969)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

#20969114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40657) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by bsulyingb (man) - United States

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (11873)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (6731)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (3377)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40298) - you deserved it (4098)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40244) - you deserved it (4179)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

#20976563
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (3481)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (3795)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: