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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45234) - you deserved it (3137)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45162) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45088) - you deserved it (7985)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44513) - you deserved it (8162)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML

#20976101
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44186) - you deserved it (3804)

On 11/30/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by flatchested Sam - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

#20969114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (2871)

On 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by bsulyingb (man) - United States

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43584) - you deserved it (8380)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (7145)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43544) - you deserved it (4389)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43413) - you deserved it (3663)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)



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