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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (2776)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42554) - you deserved it (8228)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (43679)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (4636)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (5219)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (3935)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42018) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

#20963490
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41597) - you deserved it (3464)

On 11/19/2013 at 4:07pm - work - by innocent72 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41595) - you deserved it (7717)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41492) - you deserved it (5190)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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