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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (4440)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43628) - you deserved it (4377)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (3183)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (2925)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43365) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (5841)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42907) - you deserved it (5361)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42808) - you deserved it (2832)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (2764)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (7688)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (12822)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML



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