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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (3180)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43496) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43006) - you deserved it (17468)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42831) - you deserved it (5355)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (12814)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (5722)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42024) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (5200)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41796) - you deserved it (7525)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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