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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44322) - you deserved it (5511)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (13213)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44019) - you deserved it (5402)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44017) - you deserved it (3440)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (4130)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43724) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (2937)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43466) - you deserved it (2930)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (7785)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43177) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (2837)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)



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