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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49604) - you deserved it (9766)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49504) - you deserved it (12126)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48929) - you deserved it (9522)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (3030)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48832) - you deserved it (3459)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48534) - you deserved it (4033)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (5019)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47848) - you deserved it (3978)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47840) - you deserved it (6767)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47764) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47632) - you deserved it (5632)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (21018)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML



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