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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45401) - you deserved it (2724)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44806) - you deserved it (3704)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44311) - you deserved it (3057)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (4673)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44178) - you deserved it (3313)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44162) - you deserved it (10256)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44038) - you deserved it (5248)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (3372)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43310) - you deserved it (19333)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43203) - you deserved it (4329)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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