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Sunday 24 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55503) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51841) - you deserved it (8571)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51676) - you deserved it (5764)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51145) - you deserved it (4645)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50748) - you deserved it (10877)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50741) - you deserved it (4823)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50405) - you deserved it (3974)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

#20969727
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50217) - you deserved it (2503)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:03am - work - by unemployed and bereaved (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49998) - you deserved it (3780)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49203) - you deserved it (9706)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49155) - you deserved it (17737)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)



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