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Tuesday 8 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (3492)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (4982)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (23756)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (9681)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

#20912330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (6270)

On 10/08/2013 at 10:34am - money - by moneymoneymoney (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (2830)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

#20916348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38900) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38514) - you deserved it (3047)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)



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